NEW AND IMPROVED

This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Saturday, July 2, 2016

STUPID HEADLINES 070316


STUPID HEADLINES 070316

It is time again for


Florida? What a surprise





STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY


This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.  

_________________________________

Man wants to open 'café fellatio' in Switzerland – “I’ll have what he’s having.”

Zika vaccines prove 100 percent protective in mice – I guess that means they won’t have to move the mouse Olympics out of Rio.


Naked intruder shot by Oregon homeowner turns out to be ex-NFL player – So…he was just running an “Out and in” pattern?


Newly discovered helium deposit is a 'game changer' – Now everyone can sing “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead.”


Sheep Nabbed After night On the Lam – Outrageous! *


Perdue to Focus on Chicken Care – Kind of like having Jared Fogle run a daycare center.*


Al Qaeda leader warns of 'gravest consequences' if Boston marathon bomber executed – Like it makes a difference; these assholes chop off heads for sport!



Judge Bans 10-Year-Old Girl From Playing Golf – Girls is top rated teen girl golfer in the country…I read the article three times and still have no idea why she is banned…something to do with a divorce and custody.

 


How to know when you're being lied to – Hillary’s lips are moving!**

Elite NYC school teaching kindergartners about 'white privilege' – Self esteem is very important, but it is also important for five year old white kids to know that they suck!

*Thanks Frog

**Oh relax Liberals, you say way worse stuff about Trump…it’s a joke.

___________________________



Come back next week for more



STUPID HEADLINES

13 comments:

  1. he can spell vacuum but not knocks?

    okay, i'm over it...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. According to his handle, he is @_FloridaMan. I'm impressed he figured out hwo to tweet.

      As a Texan myself, I'm going to tell that joke, laugh lightly to myself, and back out of the room.

      Delete
    2. Nothing coming out of Florida should surprise anyone!

      Delete
  2. The sheep story is my favorite.

    ReplyDelete
  3. How to know when you're being lied to – Hillary’s lips are moving!** Oh this is spot on.

    I linked you to Silly Sunday as always.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Al Qaeda leader warns of 'gravest consequences' if Boston marathon bomber executed"

    Ain't skeered. Congress can just pass a law that says it will henceforth be illegal for a jihadist belonging to the 'Alpha Quebec' fraternity to unleash 'grave consequences' upon us, and if they don't play nice we will take away their rights to own guns. I'm sure that will stop them in their tracks...works every time. Right? right??

    ReplyDelete
  5. I read the story on the 10 year old golfer & the ruling makes absolutely no sense to me!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. That is such a relief that the mouse Olympics are still on.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Chicken care??? Like, massages when their backs hurt?

    ReplyDelete
  8. With that batch of headlines, I'm renewing efforts to complete my proposed handbasket factory!

    ReplyDelete
  9. If "Cafe Fellatio" becomes a franchise, I want the rights to Massachusetts.

    ReplyDelete