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Sunday, August 4, 2013

STUPID HEADLINES 080413


STUPID HEADLINES 080413

It is time once again for:

 
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
 
Talk about illegal search and seizure!
 
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments. 

 
One headline is completely made up.  Guess the fake and win a mention.

 

 _______________________________

 

Woman fired because a man can't control himself – I don’t want a dentist to be drilling my tooth when he’s working a boner!

 GM fires employees over Indian recall - Apparently they forgot the dots*.

CNN's new 'Crossfire' producer said Romney’s partied while 'black people drowning' – He was previously fired from Yahoo because he should have said “Romney’s partied while black people WERE drowning.”  He promises to use correct English in the future.

New poll shows Weiner dropping to fourth in NY mayoral race after latest scandal – “Poll shows Weiner” now there’s a switch!

Man wants jogger to stop pooping on his property – Or at least bring a scooper.

Bars worldwide boycott Russian vodka over anti-gay laws – Boycott ended when the first “Sea Breeze” was ordered**.

Book missing for more than 150 years returned to Kentucky library Hmmm…that’s 54,750 days overdue@ 5 cents a day for a fine of $2,737.50.

Pakistan television show turns to giving away babies to boost ratings – Wow it must take a lot of babies to show much of a ratings boost.

High School Football Team changes offense to shotgun formation when girl tries out for center - I’m not going to touch this one either.

Montgomery police intercept twice-stolen manhole covers – So is that two counts of theft?

Seattle officials call for ban on 'potentially offensive' language – This       is        but           might            agree.

5-foot-long shark found at door of 'Sea Dog' pub on Nantucket – That might make you need a drink, but perhaps at the bar down the street.

Agents Raid Animal Shelter, Kill Deer Named “Giggles”I don’t know about you, but I feel a lot safer now that a motherless fawn has been offed!

______________________________

 

Last week’s Fake headline was:

Pfizer reports Viagra sales shrinking – Seriously?

And the winners…tapa tapa tapa rimshot!!

NOBODY!!!

Not even Fishducky @ http://fishducky.blogspot.com/


*Oh relax, it’s just a joke.

**It’s a gay thing…yes I am gay; I just have a vigina fetish.

7 comments:

  1. "Pakistan television show turns to giving away babies to boost ratings"

    Given to who? Pakistani families with fertility issues who can't seem to get past 8?

    ReplyDelete
  2. giving away babies sounds too obvious, so i'm not gonna pick that one. i'll go for pooping jogger, alex...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'll give it another go--how about "High School Football Team changes offense to shotgun formation when girl tries out for center"?

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Pakistan television show turns to giving away babies to boost ratings" is my choice for this week. I have at least heard similar stories to the rest of them. Gee, that is sad especially the jogger pooping. At this one does not involve Wal~mart.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'll take a wild guess and say it's the book being returned to the library. I would have taken it to the guys on the Antiques Road Show.

    Does Kentucky still have a 150 year old library?

    ReplyDelete
  6. I was going to guess the football team one, but Fishducky beat me to it. Anyway, I'n guessing if she tried out for center, she knew what she was getting into, for goodness' sakes.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm picking the 5-foot shark. In honor of Shark Week. What are the odds this shark would appear at the precise time Shark Week is kicking off?

    ReplyDelete

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