STUPID HEADLINES 080413
It is time once again for:
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
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| Talk about illegal search and seizure! |
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Woman
fired because a man can't control himself – I don’t want a
dentist to be drilling my tooth when he’s working a boner!
GM fires employees over Indian
recall
- Apparently
they forgot the dots*.
CNN's new 'Crossfire' producer said Romney’s partied while 'black people
drowning' – He was previously fired from Yahoo
because he should have said “Romney’s partied while black people WERE drowning.” He promises to use correct English in the
future.
New poll shows Weiner dropping to fourth in NY mayoral race after latest
scandal – “Poll shows Weiner” now there’s a
switch!
Man wants jogger to stop pooping on his property – Or at least bring a scooper.
Bars worldwide
boycott Russian vodka over anti-gay laws – Boycott ended when the first “Sea Breeze” was
ordered**.
Book missing for more than 150 years returned to Kentucky
library – Hmmm…that’s 54,750 days overdue@ 5 cents a day for a fine of $2,737.50.
Pakistan television show turns to giving away babies to boost ratings – Wow it must take a lot of babies to show much of a ratings boost.
Pakistan television show turns to giving away babies to boost ratings – Wow it must take a lot of babies to show much of a ratings boost.
High School Football Team changes offense to shotgun
formation when girl tries out for center - I’m not going to touch this one either.
Montgomery police intercept twice-stolen manhole covers – So is
that two counts of theft?
Seattle officials call for ban on 'potentially offensive'
language – This is
but might agree.
5-foot-long shark found at door of 'Sea Dog' pub on
Nantucket – That might make you need a drink, but
perhaps at the bar down the street.
Agents Raid Animal Shelter, Kill Deer Named “Giggles” – I don’t know about you, but I feel a lot safer now that a
motherless fawn has been offed!
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Last
week’s Fake headline was:
Pfizer
reports Viagra sales shrinking – Seriously?
And the winners…tapa tapa tapa
rimshot!!
NOBODY!!!
*Oh relax, it’s just a joke.
**It’s a gay
thing…yes I am gay; I just have a vigina fetish.
"Pakistan television show turns to giving away babies to boost ratings"
ReplyDeleteGiven to who? Pakistani families with fertility issues who can't seem to get past 8?
giving away babies sounds too obvious, so i'm not gonna pick that one. i'll go for pooping jogger, alex...
ReplyDeleteI'll give it another go--how about "High School Football Team changes offense to shotgun formation when girl tries out for center"?
ReplyDelete"Pakistan television show turns to giving away babies to boost ratings" is my choice for this week. I have at least heard similar stories to the rest of them. Gee, that is sad especially the jogger pooping. At this one does not involve Wal~mart.
ReplyDeleteI'll take a wild guess and say it's the book being returned to the library. I would have taken it to the guys on the Antiques Road Show.
ReplyDeleteDoes Kentucky still have a 150 year old library?
I was going to guess the football team one, but Fishducky beat me to it. Anyway, I'n guessing if she tried out for center, she knew what she was getting into, for goodness' sakes.
ReplyDeleteI'm picking the 5-foot shark. In honor of Shark Week. What are the odds this shark would appear at the precise time Shark Week is kicking off?
ReplyDelete