THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe), satire, and some politics, mostly stuff from a confused head.
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Saturday, August 3, 2013
How about The Shark
following is the opinion of a cranky old man for Cranky Opinion Saturday.
are welcome (wrong, but welcome) and please, no name calling and that means
you, you big stupid-head!
OK, this is
not a proper subject for Cranky Opinion Saturday, because “Shark Week” does not
make me cranky.Shark Week gets me
marks the start of the 26th annual Shark Week on the Discovery
Channel.Seven days of programs all on
sharks.These arefascinating and terrifying creatures, I could
watch programing on them and never get bored.I advocate a “Shark Month” or maybe even a “Shark Channel.”
Now you have
to ask, how could a shark channel develop enough programming to broadcast
24/7/365?They don’t have to!
jumping out of the water and grabbing a seal in a loop…I would watch for at
least several hours.I’ve seen “Jaws” 46
times, and I will watch it again tonight.You do not need fresh programming for sharks.They swim, they bite, and they scare the
bejesus out of you, just keep showing the same stuff.Who cares?
If you do
not think that sharks and only sharks are all that is needed for any successful
TV program, explain the “Sharknado” phenomenon.A film where a tornado sucks up thousands of sharks and dumps them on Las
Angelesbecomes the most successful
movie EVER on the SiFy channel.
Here is the
new programming I would envision on “The Shark Channel”:
“Leave it to Sharky” – A comedy about a typical white
suburban family in the 60’s.Father
Ward, mother June, one boy, Wally and their pet shark, Sharky or “the Shar.”
“I Love Sharkie” – A zany wife wants to break into show
business as a shark at Sea World.
“Chopper” – A boy with a pet shark gets into
crazy hijinks often ending with Chopper eating the bad guy.
Of course there would
be a theme song
Chopper, Chopper, faster that lightning
No fish you
Eats more people
Chopper, he makes you wonder
Why you ever
“The Real Great Whites of The Jersey
Shore” – A reality
show that follows rogue sharks eating surfers off the Jersey Shore…the first
episode “A Taste of Snooki.”
“Lawyers and Disorder” – No sharks, just lawyers…same thing.
“There Goes Honey Boo Boo” – A reality-star tot goes for a
swim…only one episode but a ratings hit!
“The Tonight Shark” – A talk show following the “11 o’clock
Shark News”.Celebrities hawk their latest
project by being interviewed in a cage
surrounded by sharks.
The rest of
the scheduled would be filled in with shark movies: Sharknado/ Jaws/ Mega Shark
vs. Giant Octopus/ Swamp Shark/ Etcetera Shark and the aforementioned loop of a
great white eating a seal.
moguls give me THE SHARK CHANNEL!
You’re gonna need a bigger TV!
you put it on cable 81 (Ate one).
The preceding was the opinion of a
cranky old man and not necessarily that of management…Mrs. Cranky.