What Do You Do When You
Run Out Of Material?
I had dinner
out tonight with Mrs. Cranky. After we
ordered, we sat in silence. I tried to
make some small talk, but she reminded me that we had the same conversation
just last week. It was then that I
realized, after being together five years, married for two and a half, I have
run out of material.
Have you
ever had a “favorite” comedian; one who always made you laugh until one day you
heard his routine for the umpteenth time and you realized he was no longer
entertaining?
He had run out of material.
He had run out of material.
This is what
happens to some relationships. You meet
and you date and you are charming with fresh material. You have conversations and small talk you
have tried out on countless other dates until it is honed to perfection. You laugh; you are funny, interesting, insightful
and compassionate.
And then you
run out of material.
How do you
keep a relationship fresh when you run out of material?
What do you
do when you know everything there is to know about each other, when you’ve
heard all the funny stories, the sad stories and even the boring stories? How do you stay interesting?
Sometimes
you just don’t. Sometimes a quiet dinner
with no conversation is all right.
Sometimes you can just sit with your laptops and watch TV in silence and
it is OK.
Maybe that
is when a relationship is best; when you can be comfortable with each other and
just enjoy being together, even when you have no new material.
Maybe love is never having to say anything.
Maybe love is never having to say anything.
Fortunately, I've yet to run out of things to say and we're coming up on forty years together. Of course one of the things I share with my Mrs. C. are posts from wonderful blogs like yours.
ReplyDeleteIt happens their are some nights that me and the hubman don't say one word to each other while we are reading and it is all good. We have been together for a bit and with just one look at each other we know exactly what each other is thinking
ReplyDeleteThis is why senility should be cherished and not feared. It enables us to start all over and tell the same old stories and bad jokes we told years ago. ;)
ReplyDeleteS
being quiet in each other's company can be enough...
ReplyDeleteI thought you always are getting her opinion. Always. Just so she's prepared.
ReplyDeleteGS and I don't always find it necessary to talk.
ReplyDeleteThen sometimes you can't shut us up.
After 21 years of marriage, we've definitely run out of new materiel. But I think what's going on now is that my husband and I are in a continual mode of making "new material" for our kids to share with their future spouses.
ReplyDeleteThere are comfortable silences. I've come to realize that.
ReplyDeletePearl
We've been married since 1955 & we haven't had a meaningful conversation since 1960. I believe that's the major factor in our successful marriage!!
ReplyDeleteyou play Canasta?
ReplyDeleteWhat a great punchline, Joe. Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteLove, Lo
Well, sometimes when you have nothing to say it is best to just say nothing and just enjoy the silence. It sounds like you and Mrs. C have learned to appreciate some silence together.
ReplyDeleteYep.
ReplyDeleteGoing on five years now, and so far haven't run out of things to share, there is always plenty of material from our days at work, and then of course there are the cats, and laughing at retellings of our shared adventures, but there are also times when we sit together and he watches tv while I write, or we both read from our tablets or soak in the hot tub underneath the stars, and no words are needed - love fills up the space between us. Sounds like it does the same for you!
ReplyDeleteWait. You're supposed to TALK to each other? Was that in the fine print?
ReplyDeleteI think the best relationships are when, once you've learned everything about each other, you start learning about the rest of the world together.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I regularly recycle material. We also quite often sit side by side reading on our phones and then one of us will laugh and show the other one what they're looking at and the other one doesn't find it funny. It works for us.
ReplyDeleteMy husband loves to have dinner out and then he doesn't have much to say. Hate to say it, but lunch with my talkative girlfriends is more fun. I prefer to do things that are more mobile with the husband.
ReplyDeleteNew material-let Mrs. Cranky provide it. Ask her about the specifics of her day and then just listen. When she stops talking, following up with another question and listen again. Like a talk show host. :) Good luck.