MORE BULL SHIT STUDIES

MORE BULL SHIT STUDIES

 

 

This is not the first time I have gone on a rant on this subject, but here I go again.  Experts, surveys and crap (I so want to say ‘Oh MY’ but I am struggling to remain a heterosexual.) Is there any end to stupid worthless surveys and studies that prove absolutely nothing?

This morning the local TV News bobbleheads reported on an interesting study.  Some numbnutz somehow conducted a study which proved that the fans of a losing football team eat less healthy than fans of the winning team. 

How was this determined?

Why was this determined?

Who gives a rodents backside?

What is any one supposed to do with this information?

Studies have been done ad nausea determining that people that are depressed do not eat as healthy as people that are not depressed.  It does not take a huge leap to assume the fans of a losing team are more depressed than the fans of the winning team, so why was this study needed.

I am going to guess that Brides who are left at the altar eat less healthy than Brides who are not left at the altar.  Students that flunk out of school eat less healthy than the Valedictorian.  People who drive crappy cars eat less healthy than those who own a Corvette. 

People who (add any unsuccessful endeavor here) eat less healthy than people who (add any successful endeavor here.)

Stop it with these stupid worthless studies which are fake, made up nonsense crap that does not go past a peer review because they are so silly.  They serve only to allow the morning news nitwits to make a lame joke segue between a fiery school bus crash and the weather report! 

I think the problem is every year thousands of psychology students need a thesis to get their doctorate, and all the relevant topics have been taken.

In the interests of science here are my suggestions for future bull shit studies:

Do vacuum lines in the carpet mean you’re going to get lucky?

Do dogs wag their tails because they are happy, or is it a form of canine Tourette’s?

Why do birds sing so gay and lovers await the break of the day
why do they fall in love?

Where does Dr. Phil get all his resources?

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Is a Diner really a Diner if the waitress does not call you Honey?

Do people who exercise more than two hours a day lose more weight than people who eat donuts and then purge?

Who are happier, dog people or cat people?

Who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong?

Is there a woman alive above the age of 35 who has not seen every episode of “Sex and the City” at least five times?

Why do people who read this blog eat unhealthy food?