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Sunday, August 25, 2013

STUPID HEADLINES 082513


STUPID HEADLINES 082513

It is time once again for:

 

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
 
Talk about TMI!
 

 

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments. 

 

One headline is completely made up.  Guess the fake and win a mention.

 

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Even Texans can love quiche – If you substitute bacon for the cheese.

 

Justin Bieber reportedly brought home 32 year old waitress – That little bastard can’t even serve himself at home!

 

Library director says 9-year-old should 'step aside' to let others win reading contest – Because making the successful feel guilty needs to start with the very young!

Lindsey Lohan declares, “I am drug and alcohol free!” – Well they do say the first 15 minutes is the hardest!


Chinese zoo disguises dog as lion*Did not fool the lions, unfortunately for the dog. 

 
Idiots try to eat dinner on iceberg, get blown out to sea Climatologists claim, “This sort of stuff never happened before ‘Global Warming'!”

Maine governor denies saying Obama 'hates white people' –  The Governor claims in commenting on the Presidents eyes he said “Obama has wide pupils.”


Vibrating shoes to keep elderly upright – Any of my old friends who remember Electronic Football and the vibrating field will appreciate this breakthrough.   Might work for old people.

 


 


Swallowing a tapeworm to lose weight is still not a good idea – Yeah, those worms must have a lot of calories per serving.


Bare chests liven up Austria's election campaign – If we had this criterion we might finally elect a woman President.

Justice Department to sue Texas over voter ID law – Drive a car…need ID, fly anywhere…need ID, open a bank account, a telephone account, a utilities account, go to school, see a doctor, get insurance, rent a car, go to the rest room…need ID!  Vote? Sure, you look honest.


Georgia elementary school bookkeeper credited with calming armed suspect – I bet this lady did not expect to be a hero this day, but she sure was!

 


Fans outraged that Ben Affleck will play Batman in new movie People have so much time for this stuff.  Is this a great country or what?

Pennsylvania woman turns up alive after her own funeral – Now that is awkward!


*stolen from Kelly @ http://delightfullyludicrous.blogspot.com/



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Last week’s fake headline was:


Archeologist finds missing link…and then loses it! He is now heading an expedition to find the missing, missing link.


AND THE WINNERS ARE:


                          TexWisGirl said...

not sure what the spoon in underwear thing is about... i know quite a few of these are real. I'm going with missing link...

Check out Theresa @ http://run-a-roundranch.blogspot.com/ for terrific pictorial stories.  No, really check her out…3000 followers can’t be wrong!

 

                        Val said...

I'll have to put my money on The Absentminded Archaeologist as fake. Though it might make a good Disney movie. More appropriate than the underwear spoon.

A day without Val is like a day without a 44 oz. diet coke or a Seinfeld re-run.


 

                         Dan the Mountain Man said...

Nice joke with not having the stupid headlines. I look forward to reading them each Sunday. I could not figure the fake one out last week.

This week, I will go with, Archeologist finds missing link…and then loses it! I am sure if they ever find missing link they would make sure they did not lose it.

For some down home NC wisdom, country photos, or used books visit Dan @


 

                         Lara Schiffbauer said...

Don't stop headline Sundays! I love them! And I'm guessing missing link guy, too.

Visit Lara @ http://motivationforcreation.blogspot.com/ for writing talk and funny photos and buy her book “Finding Mera” I would, but I’m a guy so…

 

Thank you to all the kind readers who claim to like “Stupid Headline Sunday.”  I appreciate your positive response to last week’s shameless cry for validation.

8 comments:

  1. You're right Cranky....every Texan I know loves a quickie. Also a morner. (It's like a nooner, only sooner. ;) But be advised: Both require an ID.

    S

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  2. Only a Texan would confuse quiche with a quickie!

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  3. well, I have no idea but I'm going with the Maine Governor.

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  4. Be honest Joe...which would you prefer? A quickie or a quiche? (I've tried both. It's no contest!) ;)

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  5. go ahead and pick on texans as much as you like. i don't really claim them. :)

    i'm going for vibrating shoes.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think it's the Lindsey Lohan one.

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  7. I vote for the story about Texas quiche. Let's see if I can break my perfect failure record.

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  8. Oh, what the heck--I'll go with the iceberg one. But what I really want to know is the name of the funeral director. I want to hire those folks when the time comes.

    ReplyDelete

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