THE INCUBAT0R
My first son
was born with Jaundice over thirty-nine years ago. I still don’t
know what it means; only that his color was on the yellowish side and we could
not hold him for several days. We were
told it was not unusual, and that everything would be fine, but Michael spent
his first three days in this world behind a window, with gauze over his eyes, under the lights, in an incubator.
It should
not be a big deal; after waiting nine months, what is another few days? Besides, we could always make another. But it is a big deal, and you cannot make
another, not another Michael.
For several
days I only saw Mike from behind a huge window as we waited for his bilirubin count
to fall…or rise…one of those…I still don’t know what bilirubin is but the doctors made it seem like it was important. Looking at this skinny baby with gauze over
his eyes to protect them from the lights was difficult. We just wanted to take him home.
What made it
even worse was the other window gazers, “Oh
look at that one. Poor thing; I hope he
is OK.”
“He is OK!! He is more than OK!! It’s just a low (or high) bilirubin count!!”
We finally
got to take our boy home. One of the so
called baby landmarks at the time was “the first time baby rolls over.” Mary Beth rolled over the first time at three
weeks. Mike was so skinny that when he
raised his arm he rolled over. He rolled
over at four days!
Mike was
never an easy child, not from that first day in the incubator until the day he
left the house at seventeen, on his own to become a skier in Colorado.
It seems he has always been on his own, from a helpless skinny little
baby with gauze over his eyes in an incubator to the man he is today.
He is very
successfully on his own today in California 3000 miles away. That is what it seemed like when he was in
that incubator, like he was 3000 miles away.
Mike is my
middle child, always a bit neglected. He
probably lacked attention as is typical of many middle children.
Sorry about
that Mike; just know I love you, I enjoyed your visit this summer, and I miss you…just like I
did those many years ago when you were behind that window, with gauze over your eyes, under the lights, in the incubator.
Hate the
beard though!
Just kidding, the beard is OK
I was a middle child, too. Don't you worry, I'm sure my parents loved me.
ReplyDeleteI grew used to not getting accolades. They were all given out to my older sister who is only 11 months my senior! lol
I bet your son is a hell of a creative person, too. Middle children find ways to entertain themselves with their own humor and wit. There's an audience for us somewhere. ;)
You're not going to say anything about his odd taste in hats?
ReplyDeleteDitto the middle child thing. I remember once my wife at the time asked me to go get Andrea (middle child) a denim jacket. She pointed out that Andrea never had any new clothes. HUH? Seems she got all of her older sister's stuff which were still good, and the youngest got new stuff because by the time the hand-me-downs got to her they were worn out. I felt horrible! I took off work and went and bought Andrea the fanciest, best denim jacket I could find! And I made sure she was well dressed thereafter, too.
S
Awww, that was a nice post! My oldest child also had to be under the lights. They gave him little baby sunglasses & I remember being horrified that they kept cutting the heel on his foot to test his blood :(
ReplyDeleteIf you have three kids, then the second one is the middle child. I get that. But what if you have ten? In that case are there 8 middle children? I mean, how do you know who is the middle child when you have more than three? If you have five, then the third is the middle child. But who's to say that the2nd or the 4th child in that grouping won't get neglected? WHO is the actually "middle child" in that case? So I'm thinking that I have 8 that could possibly be middle children. Well, I hope they all turn out okay!!!
ReplyDeleteThis was such a sweet post. I have never had to have one under the lights due to jaundice, but I see how it would be very hard on a parent.
Please don't say anything to my oldest or my youngest, but my middle child MIGHT just be my favorite!!
ReplyDeletesweet boy turned into a good man. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a nice birthday card. Happy birthday to your middle son!
ReplyDeleteYour posts often make me laugh and frequently make me think, but seldom do you make me get misty-eyed. Darn you!
ReplyDeleteThe beard Is fine.....
ReplyDeleteThat hat.................isn't
Greetings from Wales
Darn that excess (or lack of) bilirubin! At least that's something that could be fixed. I bet Mary Beth's beard was not as good as Mike's, either.
ReplyDeleteWhat a fun post! My middle son, Jordon, also had jaundice when he was born and spent extra days in the hospital. I had a difficult time returning home with empty arms, but I needed to get back to my two-year-old daughter and see her. Being the kid in the middle, Jordon also fended for himself a lot and still does. He spent 7 years active duty in the army and is now in the Indiana State Guard. He just bought a beautiful new house and I'm so proud of him. But he began shaving his head bald at age 17 and has kept it that way ever since.
ReplyDeleteAll that u.v light seems to be good for beard growth and taste in hats. Thank heaven for good medicine that keeps our babies okay--even if they occasionally turn out be be little sh*ts despite our best efforts.
ReplyDeleteOur first baby had to be in an incubator, too. But he was a ten-pounder, so he was jam-packed in there and not at ALL happy about it.
ReplyDeleteThis was a very sweet post. I hope your son read it.
very sweet ~ my son had the same as your Mike ... except I did get to go in and feed and rock him and since I had a C-section, I stayed with him the three days.
ReplyDeletethat was 28 years ago and he also has a beard
and Susan! TEN POUNDS?? man?!
You're right...There is no other Michael.
ReplyDelete