THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
I intend for this blog to be non-political. If I offer a political statement, rebuttals are permitted, however this blog is not for the unsolicited political opinions of others and as such those comments will be deleted and not published.
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Sunday, May 19, 2013
STUPID HEADLINES 051913
STUPID HEADLINES 051913
It is time once again
Yeah, like that doesn't happen everyday in San Francisco
This week’s stupid
headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments
headlines are completely made up…name the fakes and win a mention.
The One Smell Women Can’t Resist – Well it’s not followed by "pull my
finger," that I can attest.
crashes in Canada – What a surprise…Hello, IT’S A CAR!!
Man jumps out of
plane without a parachute and lives!
– If he had waited
until the plane took off, it might have been fatal. Scientists study violent winds of Uranus – Hey, hey,
come on, a little privacy here! Japanese
mayor draws ire for saying wartime sex slaves 'necessary' – And
yet the Allies won the war without “Comfort Women” slaves.
Safari guide fired after video shows him charging at
elephant –He should have paid
New Hampshire city sues Robin Hood, Merry Men over feeding
parking meters – Those turkey
sandwiches were clogging the gears.
Ancient Mayan pyramid destroyed
for road fill – Just imagine how nice a road the Taj
Mahal would make.
Two bald eagles in air
battle crash-land at airport –
No wonder they are an endangered species.
Moms pay $1,000-a-day to hire disabled members to skip lines
at Disney – One more reason
why I hate Disneyworld! They have more friggin “Lil Rascals” than the “Our Gang
Venezuela to import 50M rolls of toilet paper after
government claims it's wiped out – No comment needed.(I wish I did make this one up.)
New Hampshire fishing contest insists on lie-detector test
for winner – What are the
chances of a fisherman lying?
Oldest water on Earth found deep underground – Unfortunately, the
date on the plastic bottle shows it expired 2 billion years ago.
Kosher Shrimp Co. Ferclempt Inc. third quarter comes up
short, declares bankruptcy – Shrimp comes up short? Pleeze!
police officer stops car chase to help duck – No
comment, just watch the video, very cool: