STUPID HEADLINES 051913
It is time once again
for:
STUPID HEADLINE
SUNDAY
 |
| Yeah, like that doesn't happen everyday in San Francisco |
Two
headlines are completely made up…name the fakes and win a mention.
Flying car
crashes in Canada – What a surprise…Hello, IT’S A CAR!!
Man jumps out of
plane without a parachute and lives!
– If he had waited
until the plane took off, it might have been fatal.
Scientists study violent winds of Uranus – Hey, hey, come on, a little privacy here!
Scientists study violent winds of Uranus – Hey, hey, come on, a little privacy here!
Safari guide fired after video shows him charging at
elephant – He should have paid
cash.
New Hampshire city sues Robin Hood, Merry Men over feeding
parking meters – Those turkey
sandwiches were clogging the gears.
Ancient Mayan pyramid destroyed
for road fill – Just imagine how nice a road the Taj
Mahal would make.
Two bald eagles in air
battle crash-land at airport –
No wonder they are an endangered species.
Moms pay $1,000-a-day to hire disabled members to skip lines
at Disney – One more reason
why I hate Disneyworld! They have more friggin “Lil Rascals” than the “Our Gang
Comedy’s!”
Venezuela to import 50M rolls of toilet paper after
government claims it's wiped out – No comment needed.
(I wish I did make this one up.)
New Hampshire fishing contest insists on lie-detector test
for winner – What are the
chances of a fisherman lying?
Oldest water on Earth found deep underground – Unfortunately, the
date on the plastic bottle shows it expired 2 billion years ago.
Kosher Shrimp Co. Ferclempt Inc. third quarter comes up
short, declares bankruptcy – Shrimp comes up short? Pleeze!
Portland
police officer stops car chase to help duck – No
comment, just watch the video, very cool:
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/portland-police-officer-stops-car-chase-help-duck-140849603.html
Dunkin Donuts sued for reverse discrimination – Apparently White Men
can’t dunk.
Last week’s
made up headlines were:
Mars probe finds can of coke zero –
Clean up is estimated to cost 23
billion dollars.
Calif. Teen
suspended for calling “Weak hitter, bring it in!” during Gym Softball game – Apparently
strategy is now bullying!
Several
people guessed the Mars probe, no one got the “Weak Hitter bullying” headline. Kind of a sad commentary that everyone would
accept that as plausible…
Oh...the
correct guessers of the Mars Probe were:
TexWisgirl
@ http://run-a-roundranch.blogspot.com/
Steven @ http://chubbychatterbox.com
Pearl @ http://pearl-whyyoulittle.blogspot.com/
guessed they were all true, but then Pearl talks to cats!
and I talk to bunnies.
ReplyDelete"Moms pay $1,000-a-day to hire disabled members to skip lines at Disney"
ReplyDeleteHere's an option: They can pay me $1000 a day and I'll take their little curtain climbers to Disney World, then they can just stay home altogether. That's $100 a day to get me good and medicated, leaving $900 a day profit. Yeah, I'm in.
S
okay, this week i'm going with uranus and kosher shrimp. :)
ReplyDeleteHere's a little something for ya
ReplyDeleteI think you screwed up! I think they're all true except the Kosher Shrimp company, since shrimp aren't kosher!!
ReplyDeleteWould you believe that last year I happened across and saved that very newspaper headline about the lady sumo wrestler. I never got around to posting it but I'm glad you did.
ReplyDeleteOh, Joe....I can see that I have corrupted you beyond redemption.....
ReplyDeletethe Ferklempt Shrimp Co.?......marvelous. I love it. For all I ( a failed Jew) know, it could be true.
Confession....I had to look up ferklempt on Google to get the proper definition. It says "emotional beyond words" kinda like I feel about you and Stupid Headlines.
It's gotta be the Kosher Shrimp for sure. As a science teacher, I am somewhat knowledgeable about the violent winds of Uranus. So my #2 is The One Smell Women Can't Resist.
ReplyDelete