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Monday, May 27, 2013



Every Memorial Day weekend Mrs. Cranky, I, and the step-cranks go to Monmouth Park Racetrack.  Mrs. Cranky’s best friend Jackie H. invites us to a shindig her sister, a horse owner and racer, throws at the park.  We get free admittance, special seating right up by the rail, free food and drink.  It is always a good time…Thank you Linda H.!
Free Food!!
Cranky surrounded by Jackie and Linda H.
We always have fun, even though we always lose money.  Picking horses is HARD!  This year it was extra fun, because this year I actually won some money.  We bet on seven races and I won $32.60 total…I KNOW!!

This year I had a system.  I only bet one horse a race.  I only bet $6.00 a race; $2.00 to win, $4.00 to place.  I tried to bet a horse that was NOT a long shot, and had a name that somehow struck a chord with me.  Sure- fire right?

We missed the first two races. 

In the third I bet “Angelofdistinction,” a favorite whose name just stood out to me.  He finished second and I won $1.00.

In the fourth I picked “Rock Star Royalty” running at 4-1.  I recently referred to someone as a “Rock Star,” so I had to bet this horse.  He won, and I came away with $5.00.

In the fifth, I chose “Wellingtons Appeal” at 5-1.  I watch Gordon Ramsey’s “Hell’s Kitchen” every week, and he always has the contestants prepare Beef Wellington so…The horse came in second, and I pocketed 2.40.

The sixth was my big score.  I made $16.20 when “Big Dealer” finished second.  “Big Dealer” was owned by someone with the same name as one of my son Mike’s best friends in high school.  Who wouldn’t take that bet?

The seventh race was even easier.  I bet “Sweet Mike.”  “Sweet Mike” was out of a horse named “Thunderous Waves.”  My son lives in Santa Monica, Ca. and he surfs almost daily.  “Sweet Mike” came in second and I came away with another $8.00.  I would have won even more if I had gone with “Michael With Us” who won the race, but what can you do?

Eighth race no name struck my fancy, so I just bet “Elba,” a 3-1 favorite.  “Elba” won and I cashed another $6.00.

We were going to leave after this race, but we had to stay for the ninth because a horse was running named “Go Joe Go!”  “Go Joe Go” was the eight horse.  When I got to the teller I found out that the eight horse was a scratch.  I was going to bet nothing, but then I looked down the racing form and what did I see?  The nine horse was named “Katrina’s Prince.”


Katrina is the name of one of my favorite bloggers @  Katrina is the longest, if not the best, commenter on the internet.  Katrina is due to deliver her tenth baby any day now.  The baby is going to be a boy.  Katrina’s Prince!!  Got to be a lock.  I put all $6.00 on this horse, a 7-2 favorite, to win.

It was a long race, and “Katrina’s Prince” stayed in the middle of the pack, just waiting for the final stretch to blow buy the other horses.  I had not lost a race today; with this horse’s name I was sure to win again…

or not.

“Katrina’s Prince” ran out of gas and finished last.  So much for my system.  Still I won $32.60, Mrs. C lost $24.00 and the step-cranks and the step-crank’s GF all won $70.00 each after they picked a longshot winner.  It was my first time ever walking away a winner…until…

I found out that Mrs. C gave each of the “kids” $20.00 to bet with, so we actually lost $51.40…damn!!

It was still a great day.  We had a blast, and I know any day now the real Katrina’s Prince will join the human race, and that Prince is sure to be a big winner!!

Happy Memorial Day everyone...Thank you to all that have served and sacrificed so we may have our FREEDOM and live in this wonderful  Country!!


  1. Hores races are fun for sure. I don't go often, but when I do I always have fun....and make money. Not much, just enough to maybe buy a couple of adult beverages. My secret? God. It's said He looks after drunks and idiots. I think you can also include in that group "absolutely rank amateur horse wagerers".

    Have a great Memorial Day!


  2. laughing at your net loss. :) and the step-cranks. :)

  3. LOVE the term "step-cranks"!!

  4. Mrs. C. and I watch the Kentucky Derby every year but I've never actually been to a horse race, I imagine it's a thrilling experience.

  5. When I was 9 years old I got to go the the races with my family. I knew nothing about racing but loved horses and they were all gorgeous. Of course I had no money but I had private fun by silently picking a horse in each race using the infallible method of choosing the one with the prettiest tail. I picked 7 out of 8 winners.

    This method, sadly, has never worked for me since.

    Lovely blog....thanks for reminding me.

  6. The step-cranks. Good one, Joe.

  7. A house I once lived in had a Salvation Army camp a couple blocks away. Everything at that camp was signaled by a bugle call. Even we went to bed by taps and got up to reveille. My brother was visiting for the first time after we moved there. Call to post sounded for lunch at the camp; my brother shot out the door. A few minutes later he came back. "Where's the race track?"

  8. It's been a while since I went to the track. I used to enjoy doing that, a lot, and had some fairly successful days doing it. As a matter of fact, I fairly much supported myself for one entire summer while on a tremendously lucky streak. Unforunately, dog racing (my main joy) was outlawed in Massachusetts a couple of years ago, and Suffolk Downs (the nearest horse track) only runs intermittently these days. Maybe you're giving me a sign I should go and bet on every horse I can associate with blogging in some way? If so, and if I go and win, I'll be sure to buy as many of your excellent books as 10% of my winnings can purchase :-)

  9. Oh my gosh are you kidding me?!! Katrina's Prince didn't even place? Impossible, with a name like that! Man, I feel like I let you down! Well, to be honest, the name Katrina sort of got tarnished when that darn hurricane showed up a few years ago and wiped out an entire state. So maybe you shouldn't be betting on any Katrina horses in the future! But I love that you thought of me :)

    I've never been to the races, but it sounds like so much fun. I'm near Santa Anita and Del Mar -- they have horse races there. I should go sometime.

  10. Hope you had a great holiday Cranky...and congrats on the win. I have been on vacation and missed your posts!

  11. I've only been to the horse races one time, but it was a blast, and I had beginner's luck out the wazoo. I won enough money to cover dinner and drinks for my parents, aunt, cousin, husband, our three kids, and me... with money left over. What's really funny is I picked the winner for three races in a row, but had no idea what a "trifecta" was, so I bet each race individually. If I'd bet them all at the same time, we REALLY would have raked in some cash.

  12. Somewhere I have a picture of you on your very first horse: GiGi. Well, maybe not a horse (a Shetland Pony) but she looked like a horse with you on her back!