THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe), satire, and some politics, mostly stuff from a confused head.
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Thursday, May 23, 2013
I Wrestled In High School...Part II: The Chest
I Wrestled In High
School, But I was Not A Wrestler
By the time
my match was to begin, the varsity had finished with a win.They all gathered around the mat to watch me
be destroyed by “The Chest.”
In the first
period, I stayed away from “The Chest” and the second period started 0-0.“The Chest” was huge, but he was slow and not
very skilled.In the second period I
scored a point with an escape, and stalled as best I could the rest of the
In the third
period my man escaped and tied the score 1-1.Then with less than a minute in the match I managed a takedown for 2
points and took the lead 3-1.In a desperate
attempt to escape, “The Chest” made a beginners mistake and raised his inside
arm.I leveraged his arm and had him
almost on his back for a near pin making the score 5-1.With 20 seconds left, I could have stood up,
giving “The Chest” one point and then stayed away until the horn blew giving me
a huge upset win as everyone in the gym had expected me to be easily defeated.
standing up and taking the virtually guaranteed win, I tried for a pin.I had “The Chest” three quarters of the way
on his back.The entire Varsity and Junior
Varsity teams were chanting, “PIN, PIN, PIN!” I reacted to the chant by
pressing further and further for the pin.As I attempted to force “The Chest” to his back, I slipped more and more
over his giant thorax until my weight was suddenly too far over the mid-point
of his body.With 8 seconds left in the
match, “The Chest” simply rolled over and dragged my unbalanced body onto my
back.The referees hand came down with a
slap a second before the horn went off.I lost a sure win by getting greedy.I lost by a pin.
seconds I went from having my back slapped by my teammates for a great upset
victory, to having my back slap on the mat for a loss.
later, weak from famine, exhausted from the match and dejected from the last
second loss, I hit the shower.My head
under the cold spray of water trying to cool off, “The Chest” came over hand extended
and offered me congratulations, “Hey, great
match, for a while there I almost thought I was going to lose!”
“Thought you were going to lose!Thought!!Are you kidding me!You were
beat, all I had to do was stand up and the match was over.You lost except I got greedy and your only
freaking move the whole fight was to roll over on that gigantic chest of
didn’t say that at all, I just shook his hand and said, “Thanks, good match.”
By the time
I got home, I was over the lost match that I should have won.It would have taken days for a wrestler to
get over such a loss.