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Monday, May 13, 2013

ADJUSTING TO MARRIAGE - a cranky re-run

A re-run from May 2011

Mrs. Cranky and I married in December 2010.  12-11-10. Mrs. Cranky is a numbers nut.  The resort where we honeymooned put a sash over our door saying “Honeymooners.”  When we returned home we put the sash over our bedroom door.  It has been there ever since.  It may be coming down soon because it seems I cannot adjust.

I have no problem adjusting to married life.  I am quite happy.  Mrs. Cranky is unhappy because I cannot adjust. 

When I cook a steak I let it rest so the juice does not run out.  Mrs. Cranky wants her steak sizzling hot.

I cannot adjust.

When I drive her car from time to time because mine is blocked in, apparently I never get the seat back to the “Mrs. Cranky position.”

I cannot adjust.

When I shower and change the flow pattern on the shower head Mrs. Cranky claims I never return it to the “Mrs. Cranky spray position.”

I cannot adjust.

Mrs. Cranky complains that I shower with the door closed and this fogs up the mirrors.  Recently Mrs. C called me into the bathroom to hand her something while she was showering.  When I left, I did not close the door.  Apparently this was a major faux pax as she was trying to steam wrinkles out of a dress.

I cannot adjust.

While getting my wrist slapped over this latest error, I threatened to remove the sash. 

I am not allowed to drive her car.  I am not allowed to change the shower head spray.  Mrs. Cranky has to let the steak rest and if I see a dress hanging in the bathroom while she is in the shower, I have to “figure it the Hell out!”

We are both trying to adjust.

The sash is still on the door.     


  1. Who are you trying to kid? You will NEVER adjust!!

  2. You just need a very nice doghouse as that's where you will be spending much of your married life. Mine has a nice TV. ;)


  3. This reminds me of that phrase: You can't win for losing. If this is the caliber of grievances your bride has against you I'd say you both are getting along quite well.

  4. I can't believe you have the audacity to change the shower head and car seat position! I'm afraid to inquire about the toilet seat.