Stupid Headlines 093012
Sunday is time for
Cranky’s readers least favorite post, "Stupid Headlines" for the week and my stupider, sophomoric
and often offensive comments.
I swear I was never on Pine Street...I was home...ah...watching TV
NYC schools
to dispense morning-after pill without notifying parents – I wish they
had those when I went to school…one more chance after a bad test right?
Why rough sea-slug sex is good – Your comments on this one are welcome…come on
Lowandslow, I dare you!
A man mauled by a 400-pound tiger at
the Bronx Zoo has been charged with criminal trespass. - Well that and having his arm ripped
off might just keep him from jumping in with a tiger again.
Kids keep 2-headed snake as pet – It has to be asked, “How do it poop?”
Distance between Earth and sun
redefined – Now that
is going to change EVERYTHING!! Do they measure from Mt. Everest or from Death
Valley?
Rapist
seeking visitation with child he fathered after attack on teen victim – What the
frig? Of course in Iran the teen would
be stoned to death as a slut so…we may be stupid as hell but at least were
civilized.
Ahmadinejad addresses U.N. General
Assembly amid protests –
“Before I start,
can I grub a smoke from anyone?”
Alaska woman
falls off 60-foot cliff while texting – PEOPLE!!! PLEASE…Do NOT text and walk!! (She survived; it’s OK to laugh your ass
off.)
Scientists
find way to make old muscles young again-
Scientists
face four years in prison for failing to predict earthquake – If it was me
I’d start off every day with “The Earth is round with a chance of shaking.”
Ke$ha says she had sex with a ghost – KKK clansman claims, “I had sex
with Ke$ha!” (I don’t know who she
is either; I’m assuming she is famous.)
Hong Kong tycoon offers $65M
dowry to the man who can woo his gay daughter – I’d
take her out to dinner for 100 grand.
Check out the coolest new place to have a cocktail: underwater – “I’ll have a double scotch with an ocean chaser please.”
"Why rough sea-slug sex is good"
ReplyDeleteGood? Compared to what? I wasn't going to admit anything publicly, but since you dared me....ahem....I found it to be rather lame. I mean, regarless of how much lipstick you put on it, it's still a freaking SLUG!
Sometimes a headline is funny and needs no comment, Lowandslow's is better than anything I came up with!
ReplyDeleteWe must suffer from the same mental deficiency--I love stupid headlines!
ReplyDeleteYou need to be on the lookout for a headline about milk weed. They are so stupid they grow in boy patches and girl patches of milkweed. If one or the other doesn't make it to an adjacent patch, no milkweed pods that year!
ReplyDeleteRough sea-slug sex describes what Mrs. Chatterbox and I engaged in when our cruise to Alaska was caught in high winds.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit I like the stupid headlines.
ReplyDeleteRough sea-slug sex is this what happens once a sea slug gets hold of one of the little blue pills?
Why rough sea-slug sex is good – Really who went THERE? And HOW do slugs have rough sex? Now I'm curious and I'm gonna have to go youtube this.
ReplyDeleteLove these - what a great way to start a new working week ! At least it is a short week given we had a public holiday yesterday (thanks to celebrating the Queen's birthday which is nowhere near 1 Oct as far as I know !!!)
ReplyDeleteHave the best day !
Me