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Wednesday, September 5, 2012



Last year while toddler-sitting at my son’s house I was fascinated with their refrigerator-freezer.  On the front of their freezer, they had a dispenser for filtered water, and ice…cubed or crushed.  Wow I thought; my son must be a millionaire.  I then found out that my daughter also has one of these new-fangled refrigerator-freezers.  Turns out lots of people have this incredible luxury in their kitchens.  I found out they are actually quite reasonably priced.


I wanted the convenience of filtered water at the touch of the button.  I wanted the convenience of crushed ice at the touch of a button.  This would be perfect for a scotch-on-the-rocks, my favorite beverage.


I am 66 years old; I deserve convenient filtered water without one of those ugly contraptions screwed to the kitchen faucet.  I deserve ice without filling and freezing those plastic trays.  My kids can just scratch $1000 off their inheritance…I was going to get one…damn it!!

Mrs. Cranky and I went shopping for a new modern refrigerator-freezer.  The model we wanted was two inches too large for the cabinet opening that was in our kitchen.

Hmmm.  Screw it; if we have to move cabinets around, I hate the ones we have, let’s just get all new cabinets. 

Hmmm.  We can’t put in all new cabinets and save the current counter tops.  Screw it; I hate our current counter tops; let’s just get all new counter tops.

Hmmm.  The new counter tops and cabinets will clash with our current tile floor.  Screw it; I hate that old tile; let’s just get an all new tile floor.

Hmmm.  As long as we are getting new counters and we have to get a new sink, I would like a garbage disposal, the walls will need repainting, the stove will look out of place and the kitchen overhead light will need to be updated.  Screw it; let’s just do it all.

You know…as long as we are doing all that and we have the workers here and everything will be a mess; the downstairs bathroom really needs a new vanity, tile, sink toilet and mirror.

I do not want to even think about how much getting instant crushed ice for my scotch-on-the-rocks is going to cost me.  It’s worth it, I deserve it, and I’m getting it!!

Since we started thinking about this project a year ago, I have quit drinking.  Doesn’t matter, when we’re done I won’t be able to afford scotch anyway. 

If you are in the area, stop by for a scotch-on-the-rocks. 

You’ll have to bring the scotch, but I’ll have plenty of ice.


  1. could just bulldoze and build a new one from scratch. I'll send you my card. ;)


  2. That is what happens. I started with just wanting to paint the kitchen a different color then my hubby came home and I had removed front cabinets, re down the hardware, added back splash, changed faucet. It all looked pretty so then I needed to re paint the living room and dining room that was done last week. Now I am looking at repainting upstairs and it will snowball from there I am sure. Thank god I am a contractors daughter. Would you like vodka with that scotch...;0)

  3. Which is why we built a new house... and we have one of those refrigerators!

  4. So that's the kid's inheritance gone huh?

    Serves you right! You should know better. I, on the other hand, won't be tempted, no matter how much I want an ice and filtered water dispenser. Why? Those things cost a fortune in the UK!

  5. HAHAHAHA! More like scratch 30 grand of the kids' inheritance!!! That'll serve 'em right for showing you how fancy folk make their ice!

  6. In for a penny in for a pound, as they say. Oh, the wisdom of the ages distilled in those corny old things our folks said. I'll bet that's some mighty fine ice.

  7. Touche. This was extremely well written. I enjoyed seeing that game through your eyes. Thank you

  8. The least you could do is to write the kids a thank-you note for spending their inheritance. I did when I got my new BMW!

  9. Well, that's what retirees need, an updated kitchen to house the new refrigerator with the fancy water dispenser! Heck, you deserve it!

  10. So glad I read your post. It has stopped me from staring at my living room walls and fiddling with paint samples. My walls suddenly look mighty fine just as they are!

  11. Man, you are one funny SOB. Great stuff. Thanks for the mid-afternnon chuckle. I don't drink much these days, but I've recently taken a liking to Walker Green Label, which costs almost as much as a refrigerator that makes ice.

  12. Once you have ice and water coming out of the refrigerator door, there's no going back. It's like air conditioning!

  13. Hi Joe, just stopping by to say how delightful your blog is. Thanks so much for sharing. I have recently found your blog and am now following you, and will visit often. Please stop by my blog and perhaps you would like to follow me also. Have a wonderful day. Hugs, Chris

  14. Want to come do mine when you're finished?
    Kidding of course.. Although if you do the work I'll provide the Scotch. just saying... and yes you do deserve it.

  15. Oh lordy! You are right though you do deserve it!


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