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Saturday, September 22, 2012



They say 60 is the new fifty.  Then fifty used to be fricking old.  I’m sixty-six and without looking in the mirror there are many signs that I am getting old:


I used to think about sex every 10 minutes; now I have to be reminded once a week.

I used to root for the Yankees as if my life depended on it; now I think, “Wouldn’t it be nice if the Orioles won for a change.” (I KNOW!)

I used to play and practice golf at every chance I had; now it’s “maybe tomorrow.”

I used to want a fast boat, a sports car, a big house, and a ton of money; now I think all of that would involve a lot of work.

I used to want to spend more time with my kids; now an hour with a grandchild will do.

I used to wake up raring to go; now, I wake up needing to go.

I used to think new stuff was really cool; now new stuff pisses me off.

I used to get all riled up over politics; now I figure it’s someone else’s problem.

I used to bowl a lot and I hated the 10 pin; OK that hasn’t changed.

I used to think 21 was young; now a young person is anyone under 45.

I think that Meryl Streep is hot; while Lindsey Lohan is a snot.

I used to invest based on potential for big gains; now high interest rates and big dividends get me excited.

Everywhere I go I see buildings that “Used to be” something else.

When they play “Oldies but Goodies” I’ve never heard of them.

The last thing that makes me positive that I am getting old is….ah…I’ll get back to you on that one.


  1. Oh wow!...can I relate.

    Reminds me of the 3 phases of a mans life: Tri-weekly, Try-weekly, and Try-weakly. ;)


  2. Fifty affected my children; they wailed they were getting old! I wonder what they thing as they close in on it, too. You work with what ya got.

  3. :) You're very good at these humourous lists. Raring to go and needing to go cracked me up.

  4. "I used to wake up raring to go; now, I wake up needing to go." You are not alone!!

  5. I had a really clever comment to make...but I can't remember what it was.

  6. I am in that same boat with you my friend--where did that boat come from.

  7. I relate, joe... And I'm only 50...... :)

  8. Congrats on your POTW and welcome to the club! The newcomers sit over there.

  9. very funny. :) congrats on your POTW!

  10. I love the one about new stuff pissing you off!!
    I feel the same

    congrats on POTW
    well done

  11. congratulations on the POTW! The list is scary because some of these I already agree with and I'm still in my 30's!! :D

  12. Leaving us in suspense at the end. Congrats on the POTW

  13. Ah, geez, I was hoping, upon reading your premise, that I could go through the list and say, "Nope! Not me!"

    You bastard. Now I have to admit that I'm old. However, I'm not quite as old as you, so there's that.

    Great, funny stuff. And congrats on the POTW from Hilary.