(A GRANDPA JOE OBSERVATION)
There is a common misconception that a child is born innocent, sweet and pure. A spoiled child, an evil adolescent or a sociopath adult is the result of bad parenting. Parents spoiled the child or taught him to be demanding and unsocial. A grownup who is mean, evil, and has no regard for others was taught to be that way by poor parenting.
It is true that a sociopath may be the result of poor parenting, but it is not true that poor parenting creates the sociopath. Poor parenting fails to reform the sociopath. The truth is that children from the time they are conceived are spoiled sociopaths. Children have one driving instinct. They have the instinct to survive. They do not care who they hurt or what they break, they will do whatever it takes to eat, sleep and be taken care of. They “love you” only because they need you.
Mommy needs sleep? I don’t care, “FEED ME!” I broke that pretty glass thingy that mommy does not seem to want me to touch? I don’t care, “FEED ME!” I pooped my pants, “I don’t care.” Something in my pants is uncomfortable, “I care, CHANGE ME! FEED ME, CUDDLE ME, PUT ME TO BED! ME, ME, ME, ME!”
Your baby is a sociopath. He was born a sociopath. He cares not for others, he just wants!
Parents are not handed a lump of clay to mold into a loving caring human being. They are handed a spoiled sociopath that they need to reduce to a lump of clay, and then rebuild into a loving caring human being while at the same time tending to his needs.
This is a most difficult balancing act. You must feed, clean and entertain. You must respond to cries and whines, and at the same time be in control and be the boss. You must put his needs above all others, be the provider and the protector and at the same time teach him to respect and care for others. You must give him whatever he needs to survive. You need to be ever diligent to jump up and protect him from the dangers of falling chairs and un-swallow-able interesting things. You need to do all these things and yet somehow teach him that he will not always be the center of all creatures’ attention.
This is a most difficult assignment and the source of much parental frustration. It is particularly frustrating if you think you are ruining a perfect human being. It is important to realize you were handed a spoiled sociopath. It is ok to not love everything about this sociopath.
It is up to you to un-spoil and socialize this little creature before he is set loose on society.
Your baby is a sociopath!
I have a picture of my grandson in the hospital, hours after he was born, using the same finger in the same way.ReplyDelete
You are absolutely right. Not only are they sociiopaths but they really are not very nice people. If you had a friend who: periodically smelt of the unspeakable, disturbed your sleep at random hours of the night, was quite happy to pee and throw up on you. How long would they remain a friend? Add to that the destruction of your ornaments and money they cost!ReplyDelete
Babies? Nasty little things!
Absolutely right - it is up to parents to un-spoil and socialize these little creatures, and I don't know how many do a very good job at it, anymore.ReplyDelete
How like you to state an unpleasant truth in such an interesting manner. Of course what you say is true. But you leave out an ingredient to this parental stew. Babies are all so cute. Why are they cute? So parents won't respond to all the terrible things you've mentioned by throwing them into dumpsters. Parents are enslaved by the cuteness of their baby. Just ask the parent of a baby and you'll see that I speak the truth.I know this because my baby was the cutest of all!ReplyDelete
John Chapman & Stephen Hayes said it all for me!! Why are the funniest posts the truest ones?ReplyDelete
I think maybe you know my neighbour's son - the miniature animal-torturer. All kidlets are indeed egocentric and like Stephen said, their cuteness saves them from much of their behaviour. Then somewhere along the way they learn compassion and suddenly they're not doing everything for their own sake anymore. It's the parents that are ill-equipped to teach their kids about others' feelings that worry me. Most of our little sociopaths do just fine. Funny post, Joe.ReplyDelete
Okay, this is brilliant. Perhaps the best post on parenting that I have seen. When I get around to my parenting post, I would love to link to this because it is so great. Link-worthy, for sure. This is truth. Speak it. :)ReplyDelete
I tried to send you me "fishducky approved" button but the address http://joeh-crankyoldman.blogspot.comReplyDelete
was not accepted. Is there another I could use?
so true.. (love the photo!)ReplyDelete
So very interesting! And it explains a lot of things in my life.ReplyDelete