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Friday, September 14, 2012

Where Is The Change Bottle?

Where Is The Change Bottle?

We are currently remodeling the kitchen in our townhouse.  The downstairs is a shamble.  Nothing is where it used to be and everything is covered up with sheets or plastic.  Dinner is either eating out, or ordering in.

Last night we decided to order Chinese.  Delivery with tip was twenty-three dollars and forty cents.  I had twenty-three dollars at the ready, I needed the forty cents.

“Get it from downstairs” Mrs. Cranky said.

Downstairs on a divider by the front door we usually have a bottle where we throw loose change.  Every four or five months we deposit the loose change in the bank.  It adds up…sometimes over sixty dollars.

Anyway, when Mrs. C. told me to get the change from down stairs I assumed she meant the change bottle.  I went down stairs and the bottle was nowhere to be found.  I had to holler upstairs:

“Where is the change bottle?”

“Downstairs by the front door.”

The direction battle was now underway.

I could not find the bottle. 

“On the left of the front door or on the right of the front door?”

“On the left!”

I could not find the bottle on the left of the front door.  “On the left facing the front door or on the left as I come in the front door?”

“Facing the door on the glass table under the plastic tarp!”

I lifted the tarp and searched the glass table for five minutes.  Still I could not find the bottle.  I have gone through this battle many times, I was ready to surrender but I did not want to give her the smug satisfaction of stomping downstairs only to pull the bottle out of thin air right where I have been searching.

I had another out.  Even though it was raining I went outside to my car where I knew I had another loose change stash.

Mrs. C. heard the door open.  “Don’t you go outside for the money, it is right downstairs!”  She shouted as I heard her begin to stomp down the stairs. 

I went to my car to retrieve the forty cents.  When I returned Mrs. C. was waiting.  “Look here is the money right here, right in the small wicker basket where I keep my keys and loose change.”

“The basket…THE BASKET?  Who knew about the basket?  We keep all the loose change in the change bottle.  Where is the change bottle?”

“I don’t know.  You can’t use that for spending anyway, the change bottle is only for saving.  I keep loose spending change in the basket.”

“How the frig should I know that?  I asked where the change bottle was.  Why didn’t you say ‘There is change in the small basket on the glass table under the plastic tarp to the left of the door as you face it’ instead of ‘it is by the front door’?

“Because you should know we can’t spend change from the change bottle and that there is always change in the basket, besides you can never find anything anyway!”

And yet I still love Mrs. Cranky.  


  1. Seriously Joe - you didn't KNOW that??? ;)

  2. Pulling things out of thin air right where men have been searching is just one of those special talents we women have.

  3. Serves you right. You should have asked a sensible question like 'Have you got fourty cents? I don't have any change.'

  4. Flunked "female mind reading", huh? You're in good company. ;)


  5. You men will NEVER understand us--why do you even try??

  6. EVERYONE knows the difference between the change bottle for saving and the change basket for dipping into for Chinese delivery. Sheeeesh.

  7. We have to love them; they're the only ones who know where anything is.

  8. The conversations you have with Mrs Cranky are priceless.

    By now, you should know I'm a fan, but thought I'd make it official with a blog award. I know you've already been given it, but I don't care, your blog is awesome and I'm giving it to you again anyway.

  9. I can't believe you had to go out to the car..oh my gosh!
    the money was right where she knew it was the whole time!

  10. PMSL I can hear a very similar conversation that took place in our house !!!!
    Have the best day !