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Saturday, February 24, 2018

Just a Little Research…It’s not that hard

Just a Little Research…It’s not that hard*
Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and a bunch of other places I don’t venture, all are great ways to spread news and ideas.  The problem is, they are not monitored that carefully so the information is not always correct.

Apparently one of the ways the Russians turned the election to Trump was they spent a few million dollars on Facebook and Twitter saying nasty things about Hillary.  I wonder how many votes you can swing spending a few million dollars on social media?  Twelve? Maybe twenty-seven?
The problem with these social media places is there is in fact lots of fake news. 
I see about two or three a day. 
As a public service, I will tell all you idiots that are too stupid to think for yourselves (obviously no readers of this blog) how to tell fake news on social media.
If it seems outrageous, it is probably fake.  If it does not appear on any cable or mainstream media, it is probably fake.  If it makes you angry, it is probably fake.  What to do if you see a story that seems outrageous, does not appear on any cable or mainstream media, and makes you angry?
Google it.
Just go to Google and do a little due diligence. 
I can’t tell you how many times I see a story and go:
“Oh crap, Trump is going to be impeached,” or
Oh crap, Hillary is going to go to jail,” or  

"Damn, eating eggs will make your hair fall out."

Then I google the story and sure enough it is pure crap…Fake news!
And yet the post on Facebook has about 27 comments calling for impeachment, or jail or egg banning!
People...stories on Facebook and Twitter are not verified.  Clowns make stuff up just to rile people up.  Half the time it is a goof without expectations of belief and yet we are conditioned to believe anything that is in print. 
The way to combat fake news, the way to neutralize Russian interference, is do a little research.  You see this stuff on your computer, take about 15 seconds and do your own research. 
It is called Google.
WOW!  That is hard to believe!
Google it.
Oh, I see, it is hard to believe, because it is crap.
Come on people, do a little research, it is not that hard. 

*Oh crap, I mentioned Trump and Hillary, and made an in jest semi political comment, sorry...this post is not intended to be political in nature, comments that interject a political opinion will be deleted. 

Friday, February 23, 2018


Well that title just cost me over half of my readers*.  What the heck, I’ve got nothing today anyhow, so yeah, BASEBALL.

I have been a New York Yankee fan ever since my brother convinced me that the Dodgers, mom’s team, would never beat the Yankees.  I wanted to root for a winner, plus there was “The Mick,” Mickey Mantle.
In those good old days young snots like myself were allowed to have idols.  Today, the Mick would have been exposed as an alcoholic womanizer.  Back in the day, he was protected by the beat reporters who were all also alcoholic womanizers, so we were allowed our hero’s.
So, I was a Yankee fan and a Mickey fan through all the injuries and championships and especially that magical year when he battled Rodger Maris in the race to beat Ruth’s 60 HR record.  Mantle was supposed to beat that record, but I eventually forgave Rodger for taking the title in 1961.
When Mickey passed away I cried.  Not so much for Mickey, but for lost childhood. 
Mickey was soon replaced by a young shortstop, Derek Jeter, as my favorite Yankee.  Derek brought some great years and championships home.
When he retired I kind of lost interest in Baseball.  Many of the players I followed also retired and then they traded Robbie Cano, a young favorite, and I stopped watching Baseball.
Last year I slowly found Baseball again.  I tuned in to watch a young longball hitting catcher, Gary Sanchez, and got hooked on a giant left fielder, Aaron Judge.  The Yankees were hitting homeruns and winning again, and this fair-weather fan was hooked.
It is still Winter in New Jersey, but it is Spring for Baseball in Florida and the new season is upon us.
The Yankees stole the best power hitter in baseball to go along with the best power hitter in their league and the best power hitting catcher in Baseball and maybe the best power hitting shortstop in the game.  They also have a young first baseman who is finally healthy and has a swing designed for the short right field in Yankee Stadium.
There will be a lot of home runs.  There will be a lot of wins.  Baseball will be fun again for this fair-weather fan, and the Yankees will be hated by everyone else.
Bring it on!

*Except Arkansas Patti who has been under the weather lately...Get better AP!

Thursday, February 22, 2018

Just In Case You Are an Idiot

Just In Case You Are an Idiot
What is this thing?
Mrs. Cranky likes to shop on-line.  When I step out of the house I always check to not trip over the latest purchase that FedEx leaves by our front door.  Seldom anything really expensive, usually just stuff that seems really great on TV, in real life…not so much.
Above is her latest purchase.  What is it?
Stop reading now and guess; if you guess correctly, give yourself a WHOOP-TE-DOO!  I’ll wait.
La de da de da…
The latest purchase works very well for cleaning glasses.  (Did you guess correctly?)
It fits on a key chain so you always have it handy. 
If you wear glasses, you know how their lack of cleanliness will creep up on you.  When you do clean them, it is like a whole new world opens up.  I like to clean my glasses often, so I do like this gadget.
My only problem with this new tool is how does it work?  Actually I am not an idiot, once I know what it is I can figure out how to work it.  But in case you are an idiot, they do include instructions.
There are apparently three steps.
          1.      Look at it
2.     Place it near your glasses lens
3.     Place around glasses lenses
I’m not sure they really needed to include instructions, but as long as they have instructions, they should include all necessary steps.  They failed to show several steps.
 They don’t show to gently closing the contraption on the lens.
They don’t show to rub it around each lens.
I Figured out those steps all by my self.
What am I, an Idiot?

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Get Out of There

Get Out of There

Anyone who follows this blog knows I am very fond of Mrs. Cranky.  Yes, I make fun of her but it is just teasing.  The teasing usually comes back at me from testosterone lacking readers by way of comments which tend to side with my wife.  Some readers even call me a jerk. 

Readers also know I like to get away to my basement hideaway to watch TV, practice guitar and mess around on the internet.  I believe Mrs. C also welcomes my time away from her.  I am retired and she only works part time, without alone time our relationship might go stale.

“What are you talking about Cranky?”

Well for instance, we often finish each other’s sentences.  We often have the same thought at the same time.  We enjoy the same restaurants and TV shows.  These are all good things, but sometimes this togetherness goes too far.

This morning, I was on the computer working on a comment to The Old AF Sarge’s blog.  I paused for one second trying to think of just the right word.

“What word are you searching for.”

“What? I’m not searching for any word.”

“Yes you are, I can tell.”

“No, I’m just resting, thinking of nothing.”

“You are searching for a word.”

“Am not.”

“I could help.”

“How would you express ‘progress’, but with a slightly negative connotation?”

“Inevitable change?”

“That works…now get out of my head!”

Marriage is great.  Togetherness is wonderful.  Having mutual interests is nice.  Getting occasional alone time is important, but it is pretty difficult when one partner is able to get inside your head!

I gotta get to the basement.

Monday, February 19, 2018

A Mildly Unpleasant Cranky Sunday

A Mildly Unpleasant Cranky Sunday
Here in cranky townhouse land.
Sunday, we had no plans.  Mrs. Cranky was taking an early afternoon nap, I was in my basement cave playing guitar and watching golf on TV.
Life was good.
Then, when I went upstairs for a snack, I heard a strange noise.  It was the vacuum cleaner. 
I chill ran up my spine.
I was usually the vacuumer, but why the sudden fear?
In a previous life when the vacuum cleaner came out if I was doing nothing, (enjoying oneself on my day off was considered “doing nothing” in a previous life) it meant trouble.  The vacuum cleaning was the portent of things to come…bad things.  Oh, there was nothing to stop the bad things, they were boiling and were going to bubble over no matter what. 
There would be yelling and complaining and chores.  Chores that served no major purpose other than to keep me busy.  When the disease hit, relaxing on a day off made her angry.  When the disease hit, I needed to be moving and busy.  There was still yelling and complaining, and it was generally the same.
“How can you sit around doing nothing watching TV?  You are so lazy and worthless; do I have to do everything myself?”
It didn’t matter that I worked 8 hours a day and commuted 3hours every day in packed trains with smelly disease breathing passengers all week, and once my son was in school she cleaned the breakfast dishes and then spent the afternoons with her friends smoking cigarettes and drinking wine.  I was a lazy good for nothing because I watched TV on a Sunday.
I guess I could have told her to shut the F up, but it would not have worked.  I knew that nothing short of domestic violence would have stopped the verbal assaults, so I jumped to and got busy doing something…anything and absorbed the verbal abuse until the disease let up.
On this Sunday when I heard the vacuum I instinctively felt the need to get up and do something.
“What’s up, why are you vacuuming, that’s my job, I’ll do it!”
“I don’t know, I just wanted to try out the new machine.”
“You’re not angry about something?”
“What?  Why would I be angry?  Go back downstairs and enjoy the golf.”
Sometimes I forget, it is a different wife and a different life.
I still had a twinge of guilt, so I did some laundry.

Gun Control

Gun Control


The following is the opinion of a cranky old man with limited knowledge on the topic opined.  Opposing opinions are welcome but may be ignored.  Mean spirited comments may be deleted,  As always, no name calling and that means you, you big stupid head!

Cranky Old Man does not own a gun, has never owned a gun, and has never even fired a gun.   Guns scare me.  I don’t want to hunt; I have no interest in target shooting, and don’t believe I need a gun for protection.   If I had a gun, the only time it would be fired it would likely be an unfortunate accident.  I don’t like guns.

I do not object to hunting.  Many people have a genetic urge to kill animals and fill their freezer with game.   I have eaten venison…it is delicious when prepared correctly.  I have no objection to people culling the deer herd by gun rather than culling it myself with the front bumper of my car.

Many people enjoy target shooting and or skeet shooting.  I do not wish to deprive these people of their sport.  I like to bowl.  I would be upset if laws were passed that take away my bowling ball just because some nut killed people by dropping bowling balls off a highway overpass.

If I lived in a remote area where visitors were rare, I would own a gun.  I would greet every car that came down my dusty country road with a smile, a wave, and a loaded shotgun.

Still, I believe we need stronger gun regulation in this country.  Purchasing guns should not be easy.  People should have a license to buy a gun.  The gun buying license should require some psychological testing.  At a minimum, people with crazy eyes should be disqualified (come on, you know what I mean!)  

 Do NOT sell guns to these people!
There should be a written test and a demonstration to prove the candidate is knowledgeable in gun use and gun safety.

The gun purchase license should be expensive, and should need to be renewed periodically.

Now the arguments against gun restriction:

Guns don’t kill people, people kill people. 

Yes, but guns do make it easier and do increase productivity.

Only the criminals will have guns. 

Well the criminals and the people that clear all the reasonable gun law restrictions.  Oh yeah, and the police.
The second amendment protects us from Government abuse.

You got me there, that AK 47 will really come in real handy against 
government tanks.

Listen; do we really need assault weapons to kill a deer?  Do we need rapid fire heavy ammo to shoot at targets?  Does anyone need an Uzi for protection?

It is true that most of the mass murders in our recent history were perpetrated with guns that were either legally obtained or stolen and gun regulations may not have stopped these crimes.  However, all the stories have not been reported.

In April 2002, Cecil Plotnick went into a gun shop in Seattle with the intent of purchasing several handguns and then driving to the nearest mall and killing as many people as he could.  When told he had to wait for a background check he changed his mind and bought a PlayStation 3 instead.

In June 2007, John "Bubba” Beady tried to buy a high-power rifle and several boxes of ammo at “Ralph’s Burgers and Guns” café in Lacy Arkansas.  Ralph questioned him as to why he wanted so much ammo and Bubba responded, “To kill a whole bunch of people.”  When Ralph told Bubba he did not sell ammo that was to be used to kill people, Bubba went bowling.

The stories of Cecil, Bubba and hundreds of other similar stories never made the evening news.  Gun legislation that saves lives is not news.  Bad shit that never happens is hard to demonstrate statistically. 

If drunk driving was legal, wouldn't the roads be less safe?  If pilots required no training would you be nervous about flying?  If anyone could just hang up a shingle and call himself Doc, who would you go to when you were sick?

People do drive drunk.  Idiots do fly and crash planes. Charlatans do imitate doctors.  Does that mean we should not have laws and regulations?  Laws and regulations limit bad shit.  They do not eliminate bad shit but they do reduce and restrict it.

Stricter gun regulations will not eliminate random mass murders, but it will stop some…we just won’t know about them ...ah...cause they didn't happen. 
The preceding was the opinion of a cranky old man and not necessarily that of management...Mrs. Cranky.     

Sunday, February 18, 2018


it is time again for
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
Spain cracks secret code on King Ferdinand's mysterious 500-year-old military letters“We are surrounded by overwhelming forces, send Hel…”
Trump says he 'looks forward' to speaking at CPAC – Why would he speak at a anti-snoring breathing device?
Pastor insists nothing happened with bound naked man in car – I think having a bound naked man in the car is enough, does anything else have to happen?
Arizona woman goes to bed with 'pounding' headache, wakes up with British accent – I’ve heard that sometimes it happens the other way around.
Why are Olympic medalists celebrating with stuffed animals? – Because the real things won’t hold still!
Passenger's cigarette break causes massive airport delays – What? They couldn’t wait five minutes?
Pakistani students rally against Valentine's Day – We do that in the USA, it’s called “not sending a card!”
Amazon sex toys mystery: Unsolicited parcels sent to strangers – That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Elk dies after jumping into low flying research helicopter – Researchers report, “Elk can jump really friggin high!”
Pilot forced to make emergency landing after fight breaks out over farting passenger – A rare emergency landing because a plane had too much gas.
Florida woman claims mayor wanted sex in exchange for speed bumps – At my age; is there a difference?
world's worst attempted robbery – I love a good robbery screw-up story and this is as good as it gets!
Come back next week for more

Saturday, February 17, 2018

No Opinions

No Opinions

A cranky Opinion for

Cranky Opinion Saturday

The following is the opinion of a simple stupid cranky old man who may have had a glass or two of wine too many.  Opposing opinions probably will be very sensitive and accepting as opposed to my bigoted disgusting stupid white cranky old man opinions.  I am sorry. 

No opinions? Oh, I have opinions.  I have lots of opinions.  I am just afraid to voice them. 

Are there any opinions today that don’t offend someone?  Are we stuck in a society where we must first consult a poll before we dare to voice an opinion? 

Are we locked into an opinion such that if we decide to change our mind…TOO LATE, in 1998 you said, XXX, so therefore get in your box, we know who you are!

I have opinions, I am just afraid to voice them.  I am insensitive, I am misogynistic, I am clearly xenophobic, and I don’t even know what that means.  I am obviously a racist because I am white and I vote Republican most of the time…OK, ALL the time. 

What, like you’ve ever voted non-Democratic?

I have an opinion on undocumented aliens.  I used to call them illegal aliens because they were here illegally, but I now know that that is insensitive so I call them undocumented.  I myself am an undocumented genius. 

I used to favor immigrants that followed the rules and had something special to offer this great country, but I have been educated to understand that we need diversity, and if that means we accept some unemployables, misfits, terrorists, and ignoramuses, then that is diversity, and diversity is good.

Of course, smokers are bad, we don’t need that kind of diversity.  I hate smokers.  Now if you are addicted to heroin or cocaine or meth, then we need to understand and help you; but smokers? We need to hate smokers.

I am an ignorant person.  I don’t understand why a man who feels like a woman will get a sex change and then become a lesbian.  Why not just be an effeminate man that likes women?  I don’t judge sexuality, really, I don’t.  I don’t understand, but then some people do not understand heterosexuality.  None of my business.  I just want people to be happy and productive. 

I have had gay people I thought were my friends call me a Breeder.  Apparently, that is what gay people call straight people…Breeders; like all we do is breed and procreate. Is that insensitive?  Can't be,  gay people are never insensitive, they get a free pass.

Is being a Breeder a bad thing?  I don’t know anymore.  I was offended, but then I know I am not particularly enlightened.  I probably am not allowed to be offended.

I no longer know what to say.  If you say “mankind” you are a pariah…apparently it is now “people-kind.”  How do some languages still exist that put a gender on everything? 

In French, is a chair le chaise or les chaise?

Do the French now fight about the gender of every object in their language?

I am just a simple stupid cranky old man.  Do we get any special treatment?  Why aren’t people sensitive to simple stupid cranky old men. 

Why can’t I say Black instead of African American and be accepted because I am just a simple stupid cranky old man? 

Give me some room.  

I like all kinds of people.  I am still just a little politically incorrect. Everything changes too fast for me to adjust.  I am just a simple stupid cranky old man.

I don’t know why Oriental is so bad and Asian is just fine.  I don’t understand why Black is bad, but African American is fine.  I understand that Wop is bad, because an Italian will kick your ass, but Black used to be OK, then it became African American and now it all depends.  I do know that Towel-head is offensive, but I also have trouble with knowing who is Indian, Iranian or Pakistan, and the wrong identification will make people really angry.

I don’t know where I am going with this, I guess my point is that I am a simple stupid cranky old man.  I don’t want to offend anyone.  I like most people I have ever met.  You know who I don’t like?  I don’t like cheats and crooks and assholes.

There are cheats and crooks and assholes from all colors, cultures, religions, genders and sexual preferences.  Some of the biggest cheats, crooks and assholes I know are straight white men. 

I pretty much like everyone I have ever met and I hate everyone else. 

It does not matter your religion, your race, your culture, your gender, your sexual preference, if I have not yet met you, I hate you.  If I get to know you, I will probably end up liking you…unless you are a crook, a cheat or an asshole.

Meanwhile, I am just a simple stupid cranky old man…don’t hate me.

The preceding was the opinion of a simple stupid cranky old man who may have had one too many glasses of wine.  It is not necessarily the opinion of management…Mrs. Cranky.

Thursday, February 15, 2018


What a rig-a-ma-roll my step-son (SS) has gone through recently. 
He had a slight accident on Christmas Eve.  Late at night he was backing out of a space at a gas station convenience store.  It was dark, it was snowing, and he did not see a large black pick-up truck. 
He backed into it. 
The other driver and his passenger blamed SS.  SS did not know what happened.  He got into his car and no one was behind him, he started the engine, turned on the lights, checked his mirrors and backed up…then bang.
Both vehicles had minor damage. SS has not yet repaired his dented fender and he may not bother as everything is still functional. 
The young truck driver, (TD) surveyed the damage and asked SS for $500 cash.  SS declined, he has insurance, he does not have $500 cash. 
Mrs. C and I at first thought it was a set up for money, we are now leaning away from that theory.
The accident was reported to the police.  SS reported the incident to his insurance company, and the insurance company determined that with a witness, it was SS’s fault.
For the next several weeks TD and TD’s father made several calls to SS demanding money. TD even came to SS’s home once and someone, probably TD’s father, called and claimed to be an insurance representative threatening legal action.
Throughout all this ridiculous harassment, SS just said,
“I’ve turned this to my insurance company, they will handle it from here.” 
TD and TD’s father threatened legal action anyway.
A few weeks ago, SS got notice from the insurance company that all claims had been paid and the incident was closed.  Repair to the truck was $1200, and TD was also reimbursed $1200 for a rental car for 19 days.
19 DAYS? I know!
Last week SS got notice he was being sued $400 in small claims court.
TD had taken out insurance on his 19-day rental that he did not need to as he had collision from his truck.  The insurance  company did not pay for this $400 unnecessary charge.  TD did not understand and did not reach out to the insurance company for an explanation, he just filed a small claims suit.
Today (2-14) Mrs. C and I went to court to support SS.  He did not need us, he handled it well. 
We got to court at 8:45.
At 10:45 SS and TD went to a mediation room where TD found for the first time why he was denied the $400.  He mumbled some stupid stuff.  He claimed he did not have insurance.  It was pointed out that his truck was a 2018 worth about $35000 and it would be unusual to not insure the truck, but to take out insurance on a rental. 
It was suggested that he needed to prove he did not have collision on his truck which would apply to the rental.  He mumbled that he was told he would have no expense and demanded to go to trial.
At 12:30 we left SS as Mrs. C had work.
At 1:30, TD asked for a trial postponement, SS did not agree. 
At 3:00 the case was called and TD was nowhere to be found.
At 3:30 SS won the case by default because TD had gone home.
This case has been like the monster in the movie that never dies.  Just when you think it is over it is not.
TD and his father were playing the role of bullies.  They first wanted a quick $500 and then they would probably have still continued to demand more.  Then they managed to rip off the insurance company for as much as possible, (how the insurance company would not consider a 19-day rental for a fender bump unreasonable I’ll never know), but at least in the end, SS paid nothing (except for probably higher future rates) and TD is out $400 because he was greedy; he was a bully, but most of all he is really stupid!
Did I also mention he and his father are complete assholes?
No?  Well I don't want to leave that out.
TD and his father are both complete assholes!