Stupid Headlines 090317
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
Oklahoma teacher, 31, who had sex with student, 15, ordered to pay $1 million – That kid must be really good!
Mexican police trade guns for guitars in hope that mariachi restores public trust – Anyone remember El Kabong?
Chaos ensues after Portland Taco Fest runs out of tacos in the first 90 minutes – Note for next year’s Taco Fest…Bring tacos!
Health professionals report cases where people put sunscreen on their eyeballs to watch eclipse – Didn’t these idiots know to use an SPF 2 billion to stare at the sun?
A giant kinky sex party took place in the woods and residents are furious – Apparently some of the invitations got lost in the male.
Michigan woman gets life in prison for murder parrot allegedly witnessed – The woman, Polly Wanda Cracka, insists the parrot was mistaken.
Couple busted for having sex on golf course – Hole in one/hole out/ Fairway wood/ chip in/ lip out/pull the pin/ hooker/ big club/ little putter/ long driver/ in the rough/ ball/ wide stance/ hit a slice/ U.S. Open/ Rideher Cup/
This is too easy, make up your own stupid sophomoric comment.
Eataly plans to open 20-acre Italian-food focused theme park – Please God, let this park be in New Jersey.
Princeton professor warns new students against 'groupthink and conformism' – Students now don’t know what to do, either they conform to the professors warning, or they disagree and succumb to groupthink…sort of a chicken/ egg thing.
The Surprising Secret to Obama’s fit figure at 56… - Being President of The United States for 8 years is hard work and stressful!
And the Feel-good story of the week:
91 Years Old This Lady Is Doing Tricks – Not a hooker you perverts, she’s a gymnast! Check out her performance:
94-year-old puts in pool for neighborhood kids – One more, and let’s hear it for old people!
Come back again next week (maybe) for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!