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Saturday, June 25, 2016

Stupid Headlines 062616

Stupid Headlines 062616

It is time again for
That's just wrong!

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.  

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Microsoft is testing a new mosquito trap to fight Zika – Makes sense, my computer runs on Microsoft Windows, and it catches bugs all the time.

Axe-throwing club wants a liquor license – Cause axe-throwing and liquor go together like blow torches and dynamite.
Texas woman wakes up with British accent after common jaw surgery – Apparently the surgery also included a stiff upper lip.
Same-sex marriages in US up, domestic partnerships down – Well they have only recently been deemed legal, so why is this a surprise.  I’ll bet sales of Cuban cigars will also be up this year.

Movement on a vast scale detected near San Andreas fault – Maybe Oprah shouldn’t eat bread every day!
Judge rules Texas prison must provide inmates with safe-drinking water – I’m not I favor of mollycoddling prisoners, but I think providing non-poisonous water is reasonable.
Clinton IT specialist invokes 5th more than 125 times – Big deal, I used to take a fifth every night…now I just have an occasional glass of wine.
Solar-powered plane lands in Spain – The plane in Spain landed mainly cause it rained.
Bank employees publicly spanked for poor performance – Hmmm, I think I’d prefer to just give my notice by kicking this shithead boss’s ass.
Despite Latino surge, Asians remain U.S.'s fastest growing racial group – Coming around the final turn its Asians followed by Latinos with the Middle-east driving hard, and Latinos are surging; coming to the finish its Asians…Latinos…Asians and at the finish it’s ASIANS!!

Serbia Asks People To Please Stop Throwing Their Grenades In The Garbage – Or at least duck tape the pin.  (Thank you Fran)

Woman Calls Police Over Not Enough Cheese On Her Pizza – If you think this is a problem, you should be a Garbage man in Serbia! (Thanks Marty)

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Come back next week for more


STUPID HEADLINES

13 comments:

  1. The last two made me spew coffee on my monitor. Thank you very much.

    I linked you to Silly Sunday as usual.

    Have a fabulous day Joe. ☺

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  2. "Axe-throwing club wants a liquor license" Sure, why not? "Hard liquor and handgun night" has been a big hit at ballparks all over Texas for years. ;)

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  3. The Microsoft one is genius. They're the perfect company to find bugs and viruses.

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  4. I ALWAYS love your headlines!!

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  5. Microsoft is testing a new mosquito trap to fight Zika So how are they doing this...will it be like a mouse trap with the cheese attracting the mouse, except this trap will have a rotten Apple?

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  6. You are in top form today Cranky. I so look forward to your comments. Wish the news anchors did this.

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  7. I didn't know calling the police over the lack of cheese on my pizza was an option.

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  8. Well, "Clinton IT specialist invokes 5th more than 125 times" has to be false because everyone connected to Hillary Clinton is is so honest and trustworthy.

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  9. You've chosen well, as usual. Thanks for the laughs!

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  10. A bumper crop of headline comments this week! I particularly like the stiff upper lip and Oprah's movement.

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  11. Wait. . . they have 'Axe-Throwing Clubs'?!?

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  12. LOL - your commentary - and those of your readers are even funnier than the headlines!

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I love comments, especially some of my commenters are funny as heck!

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