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Saturday, June 11, 2016

STUPID HEADLINES 061216


STUPID HEADLINES 061216
It is time again for

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.  


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 Did parrot repeat dead man's final words? – Not unless his final words were “Polly wants a cracker.”

Clinton Campaign Has a Brand New Explanation For Hillary's Email Setup – Ah…everyone else was doing it.  Ah yeah, that’s the story… everyone was doing it.


Teacher pregnant with 13-year-old student’s child – Kid gets an A, teacher gets a C…section.


Crocs aren't just terrible looking -- according to podiatrists, they may be bad for your health – I don’t need a podiatrist to tell me to keep my feet out of crocodile infested water.


Nigeria plans to put a man on the moon – I hope it’s that friggin Prince!


NYC spends $265G to urge people to use restroom of their choice – Because suddenly this has become a huge problem…how did we go to the bathroom back in the old days when men were men and woman were woman and others just faked it and went into a stall?

ISIS defectors asking Western governments for help returning home – Sure, come on home and while you’re here take our handouts and what the heck, rape a few women…no hard feelings.

Kenya nationwide blackout caused by rogue monkey – It took 6 days to reconnect the wire.

Frog run over by lawn mower airlifted to hospital, hopping its way to recovery - $500 for the airplane ride, $600 for doctors fee, $300 recovery care, life of a tree frog…sorry, IT”S A FROG!!

Iran bans goalie caught wearing 'SpongeBob' pants – “Absorbent and yellow and porous is he.” Porous might not be the best attributes for a goalie.

Customer finds $20 bill inside McDonald’s cheeseburger – Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions and a double saw buck…all from the $21 menu.

North Korean leader caught smoking – His people are starving, he fed his uncle alive to dogs, his concentration camps are notoriously brutal, he has threatened to drop atomic bombs on the USA, but smoking a cigarette…now Kim Jong Un has gone just too far! 

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Come back next week for more


STUPID HEADLINES

13 comments:

  1. I hope that Sponge Bob wasn't planning a trip to Iran. He might be public enemy number one now.

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  2. I loved today's headlines--as usual!!

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  3. "Nigeria plans to put a man on the moon"....the moon? Last I heard they hadn't even mastered indoor plumbing.

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  4. Your headlines and comments always leave me laughing and scratching my head at the same time.

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  5. LOL! and I hope it's that friggin Prince, too!

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  6. I'm glad I didn't know you could be "humped" to death by a camel when I took my ride on one.

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  7. I have absolutely NO fashion sense, but even I won't wear crocs!

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  8. Okay, so seriously had coffee come out of my nose on the student gets an A, teacher gets a C.. section. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Genius. As to the rest.. Can I just jump in my time machine and go back to watching, "My Three Sons," "The Courtship of Eddie's Father," and "Mr. Ed."????? Can I pleeease.

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  9. thanks for the laughs among such sad things. :)

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  10. Well...they'd better hope Kim Jong Un isn't caught wearing Crocs and SpongeBob pants, humping a camel!

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  11. It's either the Nigerian moon shot or the double sawbuck in the Mickey D burger. (But I could be wrong.)

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  12. We live in a strange and wonderful world.

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