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Sunday, February 16, 2014

STUPID HEADLINES 021614


STUPID HEADLINES 021614

It is time once again for:
How do they do it?
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

 


This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.

One headline is completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-do.

 

_____________________________ 

 

Iran sending warships close to US borders – Oooh, Iran is sending their Navy.  Oooh we’re shaking Iran.  You might want to keep your distance you decapitating fanatical ass-wipes!

Girl, 10, crashes mom's SUV into Denver DMV office – She was immediately told she was in the wrong line.
Where is Monica Lewinsky? – (Warning, the following comment contains many cheap gratuitous sexual innuendos and is rated R, I apologize, I am better than this…well…no I guess I’m not)

She is going down on bended knees begging for a book job.  Is that hitting below the waist?  I’m sorry, but don’t blow it out of proportion or get all bent out of shape.  You have to give it to her; she has taken some hard licks and just sucked it up and kept on with her life.  Whatever she is currently up to, she will certainly go down in history.

Rep wants state dinners to abide by school cafeteria calorie caps – And no gum chewing either!

Finland #1, US sinks to 46th in global press freedom rankings – I disagree, I find I can say                                                            and never face any repercussions.

'Cesar Chavez’ Film Hired Non-Union Actors, Outsourced Production – Movie of man who supported unions for farm workers farms off work to non-union workers.

A bra that unhooks when you’re in love? – Did that strap just break, or are you glad to see me?

Climate Change is blamed for changing climate - I disagree, I think the changing climate is because of long term fluctuations in weather patterns caused by differing temperatures in varying global sectors… or else it is Sarah Palins fault.

Long-lost siblings unknowingly met at Walmart – They knew they were related because their ass cracks were a match.

Norway mass killer reportedly threatens hunger strike over prison 'torture' – OMG…if he won’t eat, this man who murdered 77 people in cold blood might…dare I even think it…might die.

Study suggests video games may improve learning skills in people with dyslexia – My farovte is Ragnd Thfie Atuo.

800-pound runaway snowball damages college dorm – "I swore it was in park!"

 
______________________

 

Last week’s fake headline was:

Contestant in TV’s “Top Chef” pushes a hotdog cart – And his franks are perfectly seasoned!

      

         The only winner was:
          Val said...

          I'll take the hot-dog pusher as fake. It's wishful thinking, just because I   

         don't want anybody who touches that hot dog water to touch real food.

         Follow Val @ http://unbaggingthecats.blogspot.com/    for stories and old Seinfeld      

         references.

AND COME BACK NEXT WEEK FOR MORE

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

10 comments:

  1. good golly. i guess i'll go for the cesar chavez movie. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Where is Monica Lewinsky?

    Or she could open a cigar shop. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Monica was such a short affair she can't possibly be back again.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nothing is more stupid than the media. This post proves it.

    Have a fabulous day. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. 800 pound snowball? Hmmm...

    Have you ever done a bit of stand up? :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Resting on my hot dog laurels, I proclaim the 10-YO SUV DMV debacle as fake. There's no way that girl had a clear path to crash into the office. Have you ever seen a DMV parking lot that wasn't crammed full?

    ReplyDelete
  7. It's gotta be the bra story...I just can't picture women walking down the street, with bras just coming undone.

    Of course, that has me thinking...what could come undone on a man's wardrobe if he's in love? And I'm not thinking "tie" or "shoelace."

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm going with "800-pound runaway snowball damages college dorm" this week. Some of the ones above I have seen and the others stupid enough to be really. This one sounds too much like a cartoon to be real.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Siblings in Wal-Mart. I'm useless at this game. But you've got to be in it to lose it.

    ReplyDelete

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