Thursday, February 20, 2014
A MRS. CRANKY REBUTTAL
A MRS. CRANKY REBUTTAL
I often submit posts which Mrs. Cranky feels are less than flattering to her. She sometimes even thinks I make fun of her. She is sensitive to these posts. I assure her that my characterization of her is all in good fun, and those that read these posts recognize I exaggerate. Many comments from readers suggest that I am lucky that Mrs. C puts up with me. Some comments, however, suggest that if Mrs. C doesn’t like these posts, she should blog herself and rebut my assertions. This will not happen, but just this one time, I will post a rebuttal on her behalf.
Some readers of the Cranky Old Man may find the posts to be interesting and maybe even entertaining, especially, apparently, those posts which poke fun at Mrs. Cranky. Imagine if you will the many opinions and nonsensical chatter that make up the Cranky Old Man posts, and make believe you are subjected to this constant blather of opinions, thoughts and theories on everything ALL DAY! That, blog readers, is my life.
If he is not spouting opinions, random thoughts, and theories, he is making fun of me. He calls it teasing. “I tease because I love.” I call it making fun of me.
Oh sure I can’t throw anything away. I still have appliances that technology has made obsolete. Yes, I still have the receipts from the appliances that technology has made obsolete. Yes I have a VCR tape rewinder, and yes I did use it three months ago. It is true that even though I am half-Italian, I don’t cook and won’t eat tomatoes, mushrooms or garlic. I do know the dialog of movies and I will recite it just before the actors. I may rearrange six different pillows in various places before I roll over to go to sleep; one at the end of the bed, one beside me on the floor, one by my leg and three to lay on. I won’t let him drive my car because he will mess up my seat adjustment. I keep twenty pairs of shoes in my car, and I won’t carry a pocketbook…ever. Sure some of these things may be different, but…
He never shuts up. He watches TV with one eye on the computer and constantly asks me to fill him in on stuff he missed. He never listens to me. I have to repeat stuff over and over and still he forgets. He will ask if I want something from downstairs when he goes for a glass of water and when I request something he will come back upstairs with just the glass of water.
“Oh yeah, I forgot.” And he makes fun of me?
He couldn’t find a phone in a phone booth; and he makes fun of me?
He gets lost driving to the local Wawa three blocks away; and he makes fun of me?
He hollers at his computer constantly because he is so technologically illiterate; and he makes fun of me?
He couldn’t spell CAT if you spot him the C and the T; and he makes fun of me?
And he IS cranky!
There you have it, Mrs. Cranky’s rebuttal. It is all true. It is why she calls me a jerk. But there is one more thing,
I am adorable…she may disagree, but then she never throws anything away.