COUCH POTATO DAY
This re-run is from February 2012
My answer to Valentine's Day several days early
It is Valentine’s Day. On this day you are required to buy your lady chocolates, flowers and take her out to dinner. You are required to do this because someone decreed it and everyone seems to go along with it. I don’t know who decreed it, it just always has been. I don’t particularly like Valentine’s Day, but rules are rules.
I don’t like it that the price of chocolate is doubled on Valentine’s Day. I don’t like it that the price of flowers is doubled on Valentine’s Day. I don’t like it that you need reservations for dinner that is twice as expensive and half as good as on any other day. I hate Valentine’s Day.
I would like to decree my own special day; a day that I could really get into. Maybe this post will go viral and my wish will come into fruition.
OK then, here goes:
From this time forward, I decree every June 31st to be “Couch Potato Day”. On Couch Potato Day you will not be allowed to leave the house. Breakfast on Couch Potato Day will be the traditional Mickey Dee’s Egg McMuffins purchased and frozen on the day before then micro waved on Couch Potato Day morning. Children will fend for themselves on Couch Potato Day. If they run amuck, they will have to participate in “Severe Discipline Day” traditionally held the day after Couch Potato Day.
Lunch on Couch Potato Day should be pizza with sausage and mushrooms, delivered of course. Dinner is always Chinese, also delivered. Egg rolls and spare ribs are a required part of the order.
All three meals must be consumed in front of the TV. Potato chips, pretzels and cheese doodles should be available at all times during Couch Potato Day. Beer shall be in plentiful supply on Couch Potato Day.
It is quite possible that some women might not like Couch Potato Day. Women do not seem to like doing nothing (sleeping late is productive and does not count as doing nothing) and they certainly don’t like to see their man doing nothing.
Sorry ladies, we don’t like the Valentine’s Day chocolate, flowers and dinner stuff but we go along with it so….suck it up!
It’s Couch Potato Day!!
Oh, I might have to mark that one on my calendar.
ReplyDeleteAnd, we don't "do" Valentine's Day. It's a crock.
i don't like the 'have-tos' of valentines day. i'd rather get a surprise gift some other day - even if it is a hand-picked dandelion.
ReplyDeleteI probably do a dozen of those couch potato days a year. Can't beat em.
ReplyDeleteWe don't care for all these holidays too so we ignore them. I'll get hubby a card and he'll get me a card. That's as far as it goes on gifts.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
I'm with you Cranky. I've never understood why they would want to name a (semi-) holiday after a Chicago machine gun massacre. Your idea seems much less violent. :)
ReplyDeleteS
More important than Roses and Chocolate is a payment on the mortgage.
ReplyDeleteWhen you've been married nearly 43 years (as we have) Valentines' Day has ceased to mean anything. We usually exchange cards and that's it.
ReplyDeleteI think Couch Potato Day sounds like fun, in fact our Sundays sometimes resemble this a bit. However your date of choice means you will not likely be enjoying it much! I agree about Valentine's Day - overpriced, overhyped, and all the fun goes out of it. One can be equally as romantic with a bit more imagination and whole lot less cash!
ReplyDeleteAaah...Couch Potato Day! Known at my house as "Sunday."
ReplyDeleteI like Valentine's Day. I like any day where eating chocolate in massive amounts is socially acceptable. Like Christmas, Easter, Halloween, Fourth of July, birthdays, Mondays, Tuesdays...
Special holiday sales should be prohibited for furniture stores on Couch Potato Weekend. Nobody will want to go furniture shopping for couches, because it cuts into couch time. And nobody wants a stiff new couch anyway. Couch Potato Day is for sprawling on big comfy couches, and perhaps using their cushions as a napkin for the sausage pizza hands.
ReplyDeletei'll save my complete dissertation of Valentines and just say: a crock is a crock is a crock. as soon as something is compulsory it becomes worthless.
ReplyDelete