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Sunday, February 9, 2014

STUPID HEADLINES 020914


STUPID HEADLINES 020914

It is time once again for:
"I Object!"
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY


This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.

One headline is completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-do.

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Alabama neurosurgeon walks 6 miles in snow storm to perform brain surgery – Uphill, into the wind!  Seriously this is not the fake…the Doc saved the man’s life.  In the middle of traffic mess he walked… said of his trek to get to the operating -room “Not on my watch!”

Woman Sent to Jail for 2 Days Stuck There for 154 – Upon her release the judge ruled she was now entitled to 76 free misdemeanors.

Singer wants audience to focus on her singing not her rear – She might want to turn around and face the audience.  Just a thought; and maybe stop talking out your ass Mylie!

Contestant in TV’s “Top Chef” pushes a hotdog cart – And his franks are perfectly seasoned!

Liberal Tells Amputee Veteran He “Deserved To Lose” His Limbs And “Hopes” He Dies – Well she is “Liberal” with her irrational perverted hatred, but I think real Liberals would disagree with her.

A penny inside man's drawer could be worth $250K – Is that a penny, or Penny?  Oh…his DESK drawer.

Family says girl kicked by mule improves every day - Where was that mule when I was raising my kids?

Pro-life groups boycott Girl Scout cookies – Well, the “Samoa’s” are to die for!

Mississippi couple sues ExxonMobil over alleged alligator infestation – Fill it up, but with GAS!!

Plumber impressively surfs 80-foot wave – That must have one hell of a clog!

Chicago-area school officials don't like 'no guns' stickers that picture guns – Officials fear sticker of gun in a circle with a slash through it may give the wrong signal.   I agree, in my day we had a ‘no gum’ sticker and it just made us chew more.

Gassy German cows blamed for barn explosion; 1 cow lightly injured – Don’t feed your cows schnitzel and cabbage, it’ll do it every time.

Woman gets pregnant thanks to chicken egg yolk – That is her story and she’s sticking to it!

College Student Accused Of Peeing On Cop's Head – Pissed on cop is pissed off.

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Last week’s fake headline was:

New York Mayor Bill de Blasio calls East Rutherford, New Jersey “The sixth borough of New York City” – Well the Hudson River sort of gets in the way…

And the winners:

            Joanne Noragon said...

Where do you find this stuff?
NYC's new mayor hasn't said anything too dumb, yet, so I'm guessing he's not annexing upstate.

             Pixel Peeper said...

I don't seem to have any luck picking wrong stupid headlines. But I'll keep trying..."The sixth borough of New York City" is my guess this week.

 

Visit Joanne @ http://cuponthebus.blogspot.com/ for a little of every thing, and lots of common sense.

Drop by Pixel @ http://my-couch-corner.blogspot.com/ for great pictures and more, plus the funniest laundry mat sign in the country…just visit, you’ll see.

Visit and congratulate our winners and come back next week for more

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

Best wishes to our all-time champion fishducky…feel well soon!

7 comments:

  1. So who was the smart ass that gave those German cows a lighter?

    ReplyDelete
  2. i loved the alabama neurosurgeon's story. what a great, devoted man.

    as for fake? sheesh. i am going with the gassy cows, too.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yep, it has to be the gassy cows. I have a hard time with your headlines, finding the fake one can be tricky. But I just can't imagine how gassy cows could cause an explosion. All the others sound like they *could be true.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks for the shout out! I should have bought a lottery ticket last Sunday, too!

    I know the German cow story is true, I read it in the paper on the internet! Wait...

    I'm going with the plumber and the 80-foot wave.

    Should I buy a lottery ticket?

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'll take the hot-dog pusher as fake. It's wishful thinking, just because I don't want anybody who touches that hot dog water to touch real food.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I dunno, chicken egg yolk sounds fishy to me.

    ReplyDelete

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