STUPID HEADLINES 021614
It is time once again for:
|How do they do it?|
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.
One headline is completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-do.
Girl, 10, crashes mom's SUV into Denver DMV office – She was immediately told she was in the wrong line.Where is Monica Lewinsky? – (Warning, the following comment contains many cheap gratuitous sexual innuendos and is rated R, I apologize, I am better than this…well…no I guess I’m not)
She is going down on bended knees begging for a book job. Is that hitting below the waist? I’m sorry, but don’t blow it out of proportion or get all bent out of shape. You have to give it to her; she has taken some hard licks and just sucked it up and kept on with her life. Whatever she is currently up to, she will certainly go down in history.
Rep wants state dinners to abide by school cafeteria calorie caps – And no gum chewing either!
Finland #1, US sinks to 46th in global press freedom rankings – I disagree, I find I can say and never face any repercussions.
'Cesar Chavez’ Film Hired Non-Union Actors, Outsourced Production – Movie of man who supported unions for farm workers farms off work to non-union workers.
A bra that unhooks when you’re in love? – Did that strap just break, or are you glad to see me?
Climate Change is blamed for changing climate - I disagree, I think the changing climate is because of long term fluctuations in weather patterns caused by differing temperatures in varying global sectors… or else it is Sarah Palins fault.
Long-lost siblings unknowingly met at Walmart – They knew they were related because their ass cracks were a match.
Norway mass killer reportedly threatens hunger strike over prison 'torture' – OMG…if he won’t eat, this man who murdered 77 people in cold blood might…dare I even think it…might die.
Study suggests video games may improve learning skills in people with dyslexia – My farovte is Ragnd Thfie Atuo.
800-pound runaway snowball damages college dorm – "I swore it was in park!"
Last week’s fake headline was:
Contestant in TV’s “Top Chef” pushes a hotdog cart – And his franks are perfectly seasoned!
The only winner was:
I'll take the hot-dog pusher as fake. It's wishful thinking, just because I
don't want anybody who touches that hot dog water to touch real food.
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AND COME BACK NEXT WEEK FOR MORE
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY