STUPID HEADLINES 021614
It is time once again for:
 |
| How do they do it? |
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.
One headline is completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-do.
_____________________________
Girl, 10, crashes mom's SUV into Denver DMV office – She was immediately told she was in the wrong line.
Where
is Monica Lewinsky? – (Warning, the following comment
contains many cheap gratuitous sexual innuendos and is rated R, I apologize, I
am better than this…well…no I guess I’m not)
She is going down on bended knees begging for a book job. Is that hitting below the waist? I’m sorry, but don’t blow it out of
proportion or get all bent out of shape.
You have to give it to her; she has taken some hard licks and just
sucked it up and kept on with her life.
Whatever she is currently up to, she will certainly go down in history.
Rep wants state dinners to abide by
school cafeteria calorie caps – And no gum chewing either!
Finland #1, US sinks to 46th in global press freedom
rankings – I disagree, I find I can
say
and never face any repercussions.
'Cesar Chavez’
Film Hired Non-Union Actors, Outsourced Production – Movie of man who
supported unions for farm workers farms off work to non-union workers.
A bra that
unhooks when you’re in love? – Did that strap just break, or are you glad to see
me?
Climate Change is
blamed for changing climate - I disagree, I think the changing climate is
because of long term fluctuations in weather patterns caused by differing
temperatures in varying global sectors… or else it is Sarah Palins fault.
Long-lost siblings unknowingly met at Walmart – They knew they were related because their ass
cracks were a match.
Norway mass
killer reportedly threatens hunger strike over prison 'torture' – OMG…if he
won’t eat, this man who murdered 77 people in cold blood might…dare I even
think it…might die.
Study suggests
video games may improve learning skills in people with dyslexia – My
farovte is Ragnd Thfie Atuo.
800-pound runaway
snowball damages college dorm – "I swore it was in park!"
______________________
Last week’s fake headline was:
Contestant in TV’s “Top Chef”
pushes a hotdog cart – And
his franks are perfectly seasoned!
I'll take the hot-dog pusher as fake.
It's wishful thinking, just because I
don't want anybody who touches that hot dog
water to touch real food.
Follow Val @ http://unbaggingthecats.blogspot.com/ for stories and old Seinfeld
references.
AND COME BACK NEXT WEEK FOR MORE
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
good golly. i guess i'll go for the cesar chavez movie. :)
ReplyDeleteWhere is Monica Lewinsky?
ReplyDeleteOr she could open a cigar shop. :)
Monica was such a short affair she can't possibly be back again.
ReplyDeleteNothing is more stupid than the media. This post proves it.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. :)
800 pound snowball? Hmmm...
ReplyDeleteHave you ever done a bit of stand up? :)
Resting on my hot dog laurels, I proclaim the 10-YO SUV DMV debacle as fake. There's no way that girl had a clear path to crash into the office. Have you ever seen a DMV parking lot that wasn't crammed full?
ReplyDeleteIt's gotta be the bra story...I just can't picture women walking down the street, with bras just coming undone.
ReplyDeleteOf course, that has me thinking...what could come undone on a man's wardrobe if he's in love? And I'm not thinking "tie" or "shoelace."
I'm going with "800-pound runaway snowball damages college dorm" this week. Some of the ones above I have seen and the others stupid enough to be really. This one sounds too much like a cartoon to be real.
ReplyDeleteSiblings in Wal-Mart. I'm useless at this game. But you've got to be in it to lose it.
ReplyDeleteYup, I concur with the big snowball.
ReplyDelete