THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe), satire, and some politics, mostly stuff from a confused head.
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Sunday, February 16, 2014
STUPID HEADLINES 021614
STUPID HEADLINES 021614
It is time once again for:
How do they do it?
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my
stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.
One headline is completely made up,
guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-do.
Iran sending warships close to US borders – Oooh,
Iran is sending their Navy. Oooh we’re
shaking Iran.You might want to keep
your distance you decapitating fanatical ass-wipes!
Girl, 10, crashes mom's SUV into Denver DMV office – She was immediately told she was in the wrong line.
is Monica Lewinsky? – (Warning, the following comment
contains many cheap gratuitous sexual innuendos and is rated R, I apologize, I
am better than this…well…no I guess I’m not)
She is going down on bended knees begging for a book job.Is that hitting below the waist?I’m sorry, but don’t blow it out of
proportion or get all bent out of shape.You have to give it to her; she has taken some hard licks and just
sucked it up and kept on with her life.Whatever she is currently up to, she will certainly go down in history.
Rep wants state dinners to abide by
school cafeteria calorie caps – And no gum chewing either!
Finland #1, US sinks to 46th in global press freedom
rankings – I disagree, I find I can
sayand never face any repercussions.
Film Hired Non-Union Actors, Outsourced Production – Movie of man who
supported unions for farm workers farms off work to non-union workers.
A bra that
unhooks when you’re in love? – Did that strap just break, or are you glad to see
Climate Change is
blamed for changing climate - I disagree, I think the changing climate is
because of long term fluctuations in weather patterns caused by differing
temperatures in varying global sectors… or else it is Sarah Palins fault.
Long-lost siblings unknowingly met at Walmart – They knew they were related because their ass
cracks were a match.
killer reportedly threatens hunger strike over prison 'torture' – OMG…if he
won’t eat, this man who murdered 77 people in cold blood might…dare I even
think it…might die.
video games may improve learning skills in people with dyslexia – My
farovte is Ragnd Thfie Atuo.
snowball damages college dorm – "I swore it was in park!"
Last week’s fake headline was:
Contestant in TV’s “Top Chef”
pushes a hotdog cart – And
his franks are perfectly seasoned!