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Thursday, February 6, 2014

THE VAPORS


THE VAPORS
 
When did women stop fainting?  Oh come on, you’ve seen it in old movies.  A woman would be in court on the witness stand, when asked a question by a persistent lawyer,

“Isn’t it true Mrs. Detweiller that you poisoned your husband?”

Mrs. Detweiller stands and then collapses into the arms of the lawyer.

“Ohh” the courtroom sighs.

“Quick, she’s fainted, get some water!”

 Women don’t seem to do this anymore.

In the south the women often had “The Vapors.”

“Oh my, I think I’m having the Vapors!”

I think only southern women had the vapors.  They also always slumped into a man’s arms.  It seems like they knew not to slump hard to the floor.  You could get hurt, but fall in a man’s arms…much safer.

Southern women no longer get the Vapors.

Why don’t women faint anymore?  Mrs. C says because back in the day, women were thought to be frail and they were expected to faint at any difficult sight or thought.  They fainted for sympathy, they fainted to gain an advantage when suddenly under pressure.

I think it was just the in thing to do, especially for upper crust women.  If someone said something offensive or upsetting you were simply expected to faint, and so women did, usually into the arms of a handsome man.  It was probably psychosomatic.

When did it stop?  When did fainting not become the thing to do?

It was sometime before my existence as I’ve only experienced this phenomenon on TV or in the movies…old movies.  I think it was before women had any rights.  "Don’t let me vote; treat me like property; boss me around; frig you, I’m gonna faint!"

The world has changed.  Women have rights.  Women are gaining more and more power.  Women are CEO’s; women are in politics; we may soon have a woman President. 

If this trend continues the day may soon come when men have no rights, no power, and men will be second class citizens.

“Oh my (back hand to forehead,) I think I’m having the Vapors!” I need me the arms of a beautiful woman.

16 comments:

  1. The vapors ended when we (women) quit wearing corsets.

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  2. Exactly, Sandie ...and 27,000 petticoats in 100 degree weather...

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  3. I think both are right. less clothes less vapors. But i'm a male what do I know.

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  4. i like the answer from the first comment. :)

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  5. You've never had a woman collapse in your arms? Really? I have. 'Course, it might have been the cholorform. Who knows. :)

    S

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  6. Yup. No more whale bone and spandex to squish the lungs and diaphragm and suddenly ladies can breathe. However, I understand tight foundation garments are coming back so you might want to keep an eye on gasping ladies.

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  7. Hm. *thinks* Any time I get the "vapors", you'd best not be in the same room. Sometimes there's not even any warning.

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  8. My son-in-law gets the vapors. Nice fellow and all, but he gets the vapors. And he's not even a woman.

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  9. Me thinks that back in the day, when women were meek and becoming confrontational toward anything was ill-advised, they simply would get the vapors.

    Today's woman would rightly just blast out this hissing sound with nails extended and folks know to leave her be.

    Evolution.

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  10. The Vapors.. and here I thought you were going to write about turning Japanese. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEmJ-VWPDM4

    Fainting for no apparent reason was always a sure sign of pregnancy in the movies.

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  11. Never heard it called the Vapors, but then I'm just a young pup.

    I think it may have been a way to get a man's attention. Find one you like and faint- into his arms. Now days women just walk up and say things or do things that are so much more brazen... It's almost downright frightening.

    While we're at it- Who says "Oh My!" anymore?

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  12. “Quick, she’s fainted, get some water!”

    Water? Shouldn't that be a glass of scotch? Or at least smelling salts?

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  13. Ah, yes. Back when the weaker sex was still smart enough to have men wrapped around their little finger.

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  14. yeah, good luck with that! have you seen what happens when the trust fall fails?

    yeah, it's gonna be kinda like that.

    i get the vapors just thinking about it

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  15. Fainting had more to do with the tightness of corsets than any supposed weakness of women. Being unable to properly take a good deep breath meant they were often lightheaded, hence the fainting spells. which led to women being thought weak...vicious circle.

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  16. Hilarious! That was actually how the drama queen is supposed to act. Old school drama queens. I don't think it has stopped. I have a couple acquaintances who vapor. They do it on their Facebook status. The last time I thought I was going to faint was at work in the elevator when someone left a vapor in between the first and second floor and I was trying to get to the fifth floor. I took the stairs.

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