The Problem With Marriage
The biggest
problem with marriage today is spouses feeling un- appreciated…neither husband nor
wife feels appreciated. Why? Because neither person ever sees what the F*ck
the other one does all day.
The
stay-at-home-wife (or husband…jeeze, relax, I am going to be sexist here so
just deal with it) gets up in the morning and tends to children, breakfast,
school, and all that stuff while the go-to-work-husband
showers, shaves and dresses for work.
He does not
see his wife working, she does not see him prepping for work.
Husband
leaves after pecking said SAHW on cheek.
Wife cleans noses of snot and tables of dried oatmeal and squishy
banana.
Husband
returns home ten hours later, tie askew and hair ruffled. Kids are scrubbed and ready for bed, the
house is clean and mounds of clothes cleaned, folded and put away. He pours a drink, kicks off his shoes and
asks what is for dinner.
He does not
see the vomit clean-up, the poopy diapers, the spilled milk. He does not hear the crying. He knows nothing of grocery shopping with
multiple kids and battling with other wives with multiple kids. Husband assumes she has fed some kids, washed
some dishes and then watched Dr. Phil all day.
He expects some affection and appreciation.
Wife never
sees husband’s horrible train commute cramped with smelly disgusting flu
infected train passengers. She does not
see him taking shit from unrealistic customers or kissing the asses of his
stupid bosses. Wife assumes husband
reads the paper on a relaxing train ride, then has coffee, talks with coworkers
about last night’s game, enjoys a wonderful lunch with a customer, writes a
report or two and then takes that relaxing train trip home. Wife is irritated that he can relax and not
even appreciate all she has done to care for the children and maintain the
house.
This is the
bane of modern marriage. In the old
traditional agrarian society, both spouses knew what the other did all day.
The husband
left for the fields while his wife was milking cows, feeding chickens and also
tending to the children. He could see
this from the fields. She brought his
lunch out to his tractor. He appreciated
all she did. He felt loved.
When the
wife felt put-out from all her work, she could see her husband toiling and
sweating out in the fields as she glanced out the window while making bread in
the hot oven. She appreciated his hard
work for her and the family. She felt
loved.
This is why
farmers had so many children.
The solution
to marriage in today’s world?
Technology.
Give the
husband video access to the home. Give
the wife video access to the office.
When either spouse feels put-out, they just have to look up at the monitor
and see their other half cleaning vomit and shit, or kissing a boss’s ass and
getting beat up by a nasty customer. They
will appreciate the sacrifices they make for each other.
They will
feel loved.
Problem
solved.
And have him see all the time I spend blogging.. no thanks! Fun post. :)
ReplyDeleteNow THAT would be a true benefit of technology~
ReplyDeleteYou know you are on to something here. Yes you are.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
I think I kinda like that idea. Although I'm the "stay at home" at the present time (and for a few years now) so I think I'd want those cameras placed *strategically*, if you know what I mean?
ReplyDeleteNot in this room necessarily...
You make a powerful observation--it is about feeling loved. No one in a relationship should feel like a victim. Each person should feel like a partner in an equal relationship.
ReplyDeleteHah - I think you overrate the appreciation of agrarian society. My parents were farmers and both worked hard in the field and the barn. And when that farm work was done, they would come into the house, where my father would sit down to read the paper while waiting for meals to be prepared (by my mother).
ReplyDeleteI remember one time my father had to fill out some sort of survey. For his job, he put down "farmer." For my mother's job, he put down "n/a."
I think this led to the biggest fight ever in my parents' marriage. You are so right about this "unappreciated" thing!
This is strange but I mostly agree with you. Scary.
ReplyDeleteI think the unappreciated thing only holds water if the marriage is an equal partnership and both parties are pulling their weight.
ReplyDeleteWhen you have one side staying at home doing nothing- as in the house & yard being a wreck of the Hesperus and looking as one detective put it "Like a bomb went off in here", then yeah, I agree with feeling unappreciated. Been there, lived it and won't ever go back down that road again.
Hello old friend! It's Melynda. I have a new blog now. Anyway, Loved this post. You were right on. :) I think There is def misunderstanding between men and women as to what goes on during their days. I think a lack of communication is also a huge issue, and that couples need to take a few minutes to themselves as soon as the spouse comes home.
ReplyDeleteAnd when we're all retired and the SAH has the train rider lounging about all day, offering better solutions to long solved problems, the real fun commences.
ReplyDeleteIn this town, there is a very upscale neighborhood. I never thought I would make friends there. I met this woman during circle time when our kids were in first grade. She was from that neighborhood. One day she said, "My parents were farm kids...they had me when they where 14!" I liked her much better after that.
ReplyDeleteSigh - - the uses of technology.
ReplyDeleteHow about sending in for the tapes taken at work? Slacking and or flirting with the girls?
Part of the problem is that "work" is often equated with "pay."
ReplyDeleteThat could actually work...as long as hubby doesn't look up to see wifey sipping gin while watching Dr Phil and wifey doesn't look up to see hubby hugging the secretary (maybe only because her boyfriend dumped her again)
ReplyDeleteI agree that there needs to be respect on both sides. I'm not sure I could handle a lifestyle where my spouse us with me 24/7, like on a farm. Sometimes, you need a breather!
ReplyDelete