NEW AND IMPROVED

This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

STUPID HEADLINES 122312


STUPID HEADLINES 122312
Sunday is time again for stupid headlines and Cranky's stupider (I know it's not really a word), sophmoric and sometimes offensive comments.
By 2018, computers will touch, see, hear, taste and smellSeems to me that’s getting a bit too “Personal!”

OR

“Damn, now I have to shower, shave and brush my teeth before I check email!”

 

Australian woman gets workers' comp for sex-related injury during business trip – Court ruled that her “business” was none of our business.  Damn I love the Aussies!

Texas cop hands out ticket—and $100 bill – Is Texas a great state or what?

Sinful Robot developing fully-immersive virtual reality sex game - I thought “Pong” was cool!

Obese killer on death row pardoned by Ohio governor – Instead of “The Chair” for the killer’s penalty, he will be surrounded by fellow inmates who chant “Fat, fat the water rat” for 15 minutes every day.

Giving breasts a squeeze could hinder cancer growthThat is what I used to tell my dates, but they just thought I was creepy!

Texas lawmaker: ‘Ping-pongs’ deadlier than guns – Well then lets regulate Ping-Pong too!

Thieves Arrested After Stealing 6 Million Pounds of Maple SyrupSurrounded, the panicky thieves managed to flush 2000 pounds down the toilet before the police broke in.

Potentially habitable planet just 12 light-years away – Well, that would be 70,388,400,000,000 miles so I think I’ll wait till they know for sure.

Magic Mushrooms May Explain Santa & His 'Flying' Reindeer – O   K   or maybe…it’s just a fun myth we tell children…shhh.

In rare natural event, mother right whale adopts orphaned calfNo stupid comment here, this is just a really cool story…check it out!
 

8 comments:

  1. "Giving breasts a squeeze could hinder cancer growth"

    I'll have my shingle out by tomorrow. "The Doctor is in....24/7." :)


    And that one about the cop in Plano, TX is true. Cool, huh?

    S

    ReplyDelete
  2. Loved the whale story!! Hard to believe the one about the cop. Was the guy too fat to fit in the electric chair?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Great Headliners and gotta love the Aussies "down under"
    I'm sure our government has their sights set on that habitable planet so that they can screw that one up too!

    ReplyDelete
  4. fishducky....the story behind the cop story: A cop stopped a guy for expired auto registration. The guy explained he had lost his job and could only afford to either feed his family or register his car, but not both. The cop handed him his ticket, and also slipped him $100 to register his car. The cop turned and walked off, but the guy got his badge # and called police HQ to commend him. That's how the story got out. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. To LOWANDSLOW: Thanks for the explanation. That would infer that Texas cops are human--could that be?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Lots of fun here. I didn't know I was performing a medical procedure when I groped my Honey. Merry Christmas. I hope you have a safe and Happy Holiday.

    ReplyDelete
  7. You can't make these up. I look forward to every one of these posts.

    ReplyDelete

I love comments, especially some of my commenters are funny as heck!

Oh, and don't be shy, Never miss a Cranky Post.

Sign up for an email of every post...over there...on your right...go on!