THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe), satire, and some politics, mostly stuff from a confused head.
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Sunday, December 30, 2012
BEST OF STUPID HEADLINES for 2012
After 15 minutes of careful consideration I submit the best
STUPID HEADLINES for 2012
These are Cranky's best headlines with my stupidier, sophmoric and sometimes offensive comments. If you think these are bad, you see the ones I discarded!
Court Bans Military 'Virginity Tests' on Female Detainees –
Egyptian Military no longer able to ask female detainees, “Do you know what a
One Million Moms to JC Penney: fire
Ellen, she's gay – Ellen
to one million moms: Fuck you, I’m rich!
Some blacks insist: 'I'm not
African-American' – They now insist on being referred to
asks judge to order Massachusetts school district to remove 'under God' from
Pledge of Allegiance – Family also requests that the word
DOG never be displayed in front of a mirror.
What sank the Titanic? Scientists
point to the moon – It
was an iceberg…did they even see the movie?
Ayers: 'I get up every morning thinking ... today I'm gonna end capitalism'– “But then I get a headache trying to figure
out how to price all that shit.”
Police: US Virgin Islands mother had
week-old baby girl zipped up in her purse while driving – “Hmmm
driver’s license, driver’s license…I know it’s in here…OH here, right under the
Sarkozy dangles "empty chair" threat
over Europe – Ooooh Europe is
sooo scared.An empty chair….Ooooh!
G-spot exist? New study fuels debate – Experts claim it is right between the F-spot and the
H-spot, but for some unknown reason men cannot find it.
Ohio man was
making meth inside Walmart, police say – Police also
claim the man wath trying to thteal lotth of thtuff and refuthed to clean up
World awaits latest in hunt for Higgs
particle – Scientist’s
search includes chant, “Saint Anthony, Saint Anthony please come around;
something is lost and needs to be found.”
shuns physicist linked to 'God particle' because of religious beliefs
- Country demands
the scientific discovery be named the “Allah Thingy.”
Scientists may have found the secret
to a male birth control pill – Pill makes
most women look like Justin Beiber.
Baby born in
plane toilet named after Emirates Airline – The other choice was “American Standard.”
Mars Curiosity rover stops sampling
to check out shiny object seen on surface – NASA’s robot falls for the old Martian ring on a