This
stay-at-home environment we are in
requires spousal distancing. So far Mrs.
C and I are clear of the virus, but after three or more weeks together,
and I mean TOGETHER, we have learned to practice “Spousal Distancing.” I don’t think the President or the Governor
has required Spousal distancing yet, but it may be coming soon.
We have
already put it into place.
Sure we
spend lots of time together, but it needs to be done with discretion. Twenty-four-seven is not an option. We have no schedule, the key is when you have
too much of each other, just get up and leave.
No one will ask, “Where are you going,” just the going is relief enough.
When Mrs. C
has too much of my charm, she knows how to give me a “Get-the-Hell-out
nudge. She puts on a TV show from the On-Demand
function. She puts on season eight of “How
to get away with killing someone new every season.”
This is a show staring Violet Somebody who is
apparently one of the finest actresses (or female actors as my Step-Daughter advises is now the
correct designation)
in the world. I am not a fan. Her signature acting trait is she cries with will
real emotion. She has even developed the
ability to create snot bubbles while sobbing.
Now that is
acting!
Oh, and she
can whisper really loud too. I never
understand this, but it is a thing in acting today. Years ago, actors were judged by their
booming voice and annunciation. The
ability to project was very important in Acting 101. Today it is the whisper. For some reason whispering evokes true
emotion. Never mind that actors whisper
when there is no one around, no reason to keep their voice down, they just
whisper for effect. The really dumb
thing is they whisper loud. WTF!!
How about just talking instead of whispering loud.
Anyway, when
Mrs. C puts this show on it is like Kryptonite to Superman.
OK, maybe more like skunk stink to
anyone. Either way, I am outta there.
At least we
have several floors in our locked down town house. If we lived in a one bedroom apartment I
would be outside licking mailboxes to get relief.
No I wouldn’t,
this virus is nothing to fool with, but it might cross my mind.
Stay safe
everyone, and wash your feckin hands!
So far Jim and I are doing just fine without spousal distancing. Of course he knows that I control the remote so he sleeps in his recliner next to me.
ReplyDeleteBwahahahahahahaha. Never a dull moment at your house.
ReplyDeleteI linked this post to Happy Tuesday.
Have a fabulous day, Joe. 😎
Snot Bubbles WBAGNFARB
ReplyDeleteI'm watching mindless shows on Netflix with earphones in a lot. Thankfully we have the dog that provides some humor, otherwise I think we'd be trying to distance ourselves more than we do. This too will pass some day in some way.
ReplyDeletebetty
My husband works in our home office all day and I still need some spousal distancing. There's something about having someone home all day (when you are not used to it) that really gets on the nerves!
ReplyDeleteAnd now I'm seeing the method to his madness.....nothing gets me out of a room faster than a Walking Dead marathon or Naked and Afraid.
Thank goodness we have the BARn for distancing purposes. Back in the house, when Hick tires of my presence (after I've prepared his food, of course), he puts Andy Griffith on the TV. Or Gunsmoke. Used to be MASH, but I guess even HE got tired of MASH. I can't last five minutes with those shows.
ReplyDeleteThis is your very best and funniest post ever - maybe because so many of us can relate. I read on Sunday that the six foot distance is not far enough, it should be 13 feet. Even though we have not been out and about for over a month and have not seen another human except on Zoom, and are not in any danger, I have enacted the 13 foot rule, especially in the kitchen. We also have to survive this togetherness.
ReplyDeleteHang in there. Keep away from the knife rack!
ReplyDeleteThat is a blessing.... having several floors to escape.
ReplyDeleteReminds me of the joke about the Queen spending time at the Windsor and getting bored of the isolation.
Another good one, Joe!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad we have enough space between us. She has her TV and I have mine. There's even a third one for no reason at all. We might sit and have a cup of coffee or tea together, but then one of us will get up and leave, sometimes for no reason at all. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteThis is why i am glad i do still have work, and so does he. We'd not survive otherwise.
ReplyDeleteIn my blog-feed I thought this said "Social Distancing", click on it and--hahaha! I was laughing BEFORE I BEGAN READING--and yeah, that show does sound like kryptonite! Joe, let's hear some of the stuff you like to watch--when Mrs.C lets you have the remote :)
ReplyDeleteOM Gosh why didn't I think of this? Spousal Distancing!!!
ReplyDeleteWe are distancing ourselves as we can. He's outside, I do inside. Vise versa. It works until it doesn't anymore. Looks like another 2 weeks of this, in California per our Governor.
I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.
You are having lots of fun at your house! We have to find things to pass the time so we don't get into mischief and need a lawyer. I heard today was Be Kind To A Lawyer Day. So we don't want to go there now . I wouldn't look good in orange jumpsuits or those matching silver bracelets you have to wear. But seriously, We are doing ok, the hubby has to work in his office next week so I never complain when he can get home and stay there with me. Stay safe, healthy and be happy. Virtual hugs to your house from ours.
ReplyDeleteWe are lucky we still get along very well after about 4 weeks of STFH, but we also are allowed to get outside to exercise and I run a bit faster and further than the missus, so I go for a longer run by myself and she does her thing. Then working outside in the when the weather cooperates or not, we are usually doing our designated duties away from one another. So the space/time continuum has not exploded around us as yet. :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm with Doug. Couldn't help but wonder what is your sure fire show to make Mrs. C disappear?
ReplyDeleteOh, I wish we had a signal like that. My Romeo doesn't like blood and guts on TV, whereas I love watching those kind of shows, so I guess I'll try that. :-) This will be quite the test for those newly married couples ~ heck, it's a test for us all right now.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately here in the UK the TV programs have not improved now that people are at home.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
I never realized that blowing snot bubbles was a skill. Hm.
ReplyDeleteSo, licking mailboxes is a distraction? Haven't given a try.
I have only a one bedroom flat but no one shares it with me except Lola, the cat and when she bugs me I just shoo her out to the closed in back porch.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you have enough rooms to be able to get away from each other and an understanding that alone time is needed. Some partners don't understand that, they're so needy and clingy. The only thing to do there is divorce. I even helped pack his bags and called the taxi. Years ago now.
One thing I've discovered.... I now know how to talk to myself, sensibly!
ReplyDeleteI heard someone say after hearing about social distancing and Covid.."Oh, it's like being married with a cough!" Jack and I both are still working so we're not too sick of each other plus we have 6 acres to hide out in if necessary! I worry more that I'll bring this virus home from the hospital. So far all's well and I wash my hands constantly...like I'm OCD!
ReplyDeletespousal distancing...just those two words sent me into a fit of laughter....so much so that sweetie had to get out of his dining chair and look at what I was laughing at....then the two of us were almost on the floor laughing. So far HE has the remote always in his hands.....BUT I control what netflix dvds come next hahahah. He has discovered youtube videos just about how to do anything. Except murder. Seriously- we do fine as long as it doesn't rain day after day!
ReplyDeleteHave fun every day...somehow we will all survive. Cheers!