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Friday, April 17, 2020
The Differences between Men and Woman
1. Woman clap with flat hands so as not to make too much noise/ Men clap with cupped hands so as to make as much noise as possible.
2. If a man’s team scores a touchdown, they scream YEAH! And punch the air/ women do that Woo! thing and show jazz hands.
3. A woman will always notice when another woman has a new hairdo…they will always like it and say it is cute, the other woman will know if they mean it or not/ If a man does anything different to his appearance he will be told “Dude, what the Hell did you do? You look like a (insert offensive simile here.)” the man will not care what they really think.
4. Women almost always smile when they are talking/ men try to look serious and or tough.
5. When something is funny, women cover their mouth and make a tee hee sound/ men slap their knee and guffaw loudly.
6. When complimented on their new outfit, women will say, “Target. $29.95!”/ men will just say, “Thanks, it cost me a boatload!”
7. When their 10 year old son hits a home run, Mom will give him a big hug and say, “You did such a good hit!”/ Dad will offer a fist bump and say, “Awesome Dude!”
8. Grandma will hug all her grandchildren and smother them with kisses/ Grandpa will slip them some money and say, “Don’t tell your mother.”
9. Mom will tell her children, “Finish your supper or no dessert.”/ Dad will sweep some peas on the plate when mom isn’t looking.
10. Women can watch TV, and play computer games and not miss a beat/ A Man will watch TV and ask a dozen questions because he was distracted by a thread on his shirt.
11. When women cry, they sniffle and dab at their eyes/ men don’t cry, they just get something in their eye.
12. When a woman gets a cold she just goes on with her life and makes everyone feel guilty/ when a man gets a cold he is told to go to bed, he is pampered, and then made to feel guilty.
13. Women get embarrassed if their child’s sports uniform is dirty/ men wipe dirt on their child’s uniform so it looks like they’ve been in the game.
14. Women sip/ men gulp
15. Woman care deeply about social issues/ men care about issues that help them get close to women who care deeply about social issues.
16. While under quarantine, women clean everything/ While under quarantine, men lift their feet so women can vacuum under them.
That’s it, other than the obvious physical attributes, these are the only things that differentiate men from women.