It All Started With Ice Cream
I have made
an observation recently. The observation
comes from my reality TV addiction, so don’t put too much credibility to
it…still.
My studies
are from shows like “Married at First Sight,” "90 day fiance," “The Bachelor,” “Sister
Wives,” and other out of focused glimpses into how couples interact
these days.
It is
clearly different than it was in my day.
Couples today,
especially young couples, think too much.
That’s right, they think too much.
They think about every thing anyone says, every move, inflection,
shoulder shrug or eyebrow slant. Young
people today assign some meaning to everything and they then analyze all the
information gleaned from all that meaning.
It must be
exhausting. Having to explain every
word, every step, everything.
As an example, here is a recent Reality TV couple discussion:
As an example, here is a recent Reality TV couple discussion:
“What do
you mean by 'you hope I had a good time?'”
“Nothing,
I just hope you had a good time.”
“Why
would you think I didn’t have a good time?”
“No
reason, I just wanted to confirm you had a good time.”
“There
must be some other reason you would ask.”
This goes on
and on…it is exhausting to me and I am just a fly on the reality TV wall.
I blame it
on choices.
I blame it
all on ice cream.
Back in the
day, a trip to the ice cream shop meant you had a choice of vanilla, chocolate,
or strawberry. It was a difficult choice
as they are all good. In fact, there is
no ice cream choice that will ever be as good as vanilla, chocolate or
strawberry. Oh, they added a few, cherry
vanilla, pistachio, and butter pecan, and I may stray, but I always come back
to the big three.
The ice
cream shop today has at least 78 different flavor choices. They throw everything into ice cream today,
cookies, sprinkles, lemon mixes, watermelon, cotton candy, it doesn’t end. Then they put kids’ names on the different
concoctions, superman ice cream, sponge bob on a stick, Cinderella pops.
How in the
world can you get a child to sample any of the big three? They never try the only real flavors ice
cream was ever meant to have. Children don’t
have a favorite, they have to try a new flavor every trip to the ice cream
shop.
Fast forward
to young adults choosing a relationship.
They can’t do it. They never got to sample all the ice cream choices,
they never got to choose a favorite, now how can they accept a
relationship.
They need to
sample every choice. Their mind says, “Gee,
I liked chocolate fudge mocha cream fuzzy, and then I liked vanilla nut crunch
Popeye berry. ”
If you could
never choose a favorite ice cream flavor because there are so many choices, why
would choosing a mate be any different?
Young people
today grew up with choices for everything.
They were taught they could be whatever they wanted, could live wherever
they want, and eat any one of at least 78 different flavors of ice cream. They are paralyzed by choices and it makes
them analyze everything.
These days
it is not uncommon for couples to seek counseling before they get married.
I’m
convinced the problem is they think too much.
Hell, just
order the vanilla. That’s what I
did. Of course, vanilla didn’t agree
with me long term, so I tried chocolate.
Chocolate had a bad after taste.
Turns out my best flavor is strawberry, and I am so glad that for me
there were only three flavors.
I never analyse anything. No one will ever accuse me of being a deep thinker. I take things at face value. Ice cream for me is the big two, vanilla and chocolate. Rum'n'raisin and butterscotch are in second place, but my first choice is always vanilla.
ReplyDeleteYou are right on all points. The way my son used to analyse everything had me screaming inside. He's still the same now, and so am I!
ReplyDeleteI blame the Internet!
ReplyDeleteWe'll, at least everyone gets a trophy.
ReplyDeleteThis was a good post Joe--well said and yep, yep--couldn't agree with ya more. (Wait--seeking counseling BEFORE marriage??) Sigh!
ReplyDeleteSo this is how it started...with ice cream. It all makes sense now.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day, Joe. 😎
Yep ... too much choices these days. And they want it instantly too. Instant this instant that. No waiting. Instant. My cousin, an eminent scientist, got fired from his laboratory work for inventing and instant laxative. Tested it on the nurses too!
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
You are totally on to something here. In fact there have been studies on the overwhelm of too many choices (GIYP).
ReplyDeleteThanks Olga, I did Google it and surprise experts have studied this and they do agree.
Deletehttps://www.apa.org/monitor/jun04/toomany
Like the grocery store scene from 'Moscow On the Hudson'. . .
DeleteI've always been partial to vanilla, myself (heck, I'll even pour a little vanilla extract on it to make it even more vanilla-y). But one of the local shops here has something they call 'Death By Chocolate', which is amazing. Personally, I would sub in Peach for Strawberry, just because I like peaches better than strawberries. And I'm always up for a generous scoop of Coffee ice cream, especially with hot fudge on it. . .
ReplyDeleteThree basic flavors, three wives. . . Wouldn't want to stretch that metaphor too far, I think. . . ;)
My wife and I do Marriage Preparation classes at our church; it never ceases to amaze me the kind of common-sense basic stuff that's never occurred to the young folks we work with. I don't think the problem is so much that they have too many choices, exactly; a lot of 'em just don't seem to think much deeper than, "gosh, they're a lot of fun in bed". . .
Think you have a good point. Miss Excitement here. Plain Vanilla please and black coffee. Do they even sell "just coffee" at Starbucks?
ReplyDeleteTV is like ice cream. SO many channels, when we used to have just 3 networks and PBS. Yet we thumb though the channel guide, and declare, "There's nothing on!" SO many channels available, but my kids don't even have "real" TV, and choose to watch things on demand.
ReplyDeleteI love Kona coffee ice cream. Sometimes, it is difficult to accept a marriage proposal, but you just have to take a leap of faith and determine to make marriage work through the hard times.
ReplyDeleteOh, like gigi-hawaii I adore coffee ice cream. From the big 3, it's always gotta be chocolate (especially if it is home made)
ReplyDeleteI never thought about the issue with too many choices. If you aren't that great looking (such as myself) that cuts the choices down considerably. :-)
I have to agree with you. Too many choices indeed. On a side note, I saw someone had in their cart the other day a carton of "Fruit Loops" ice cream. That was a new flavor for me.
ReplyDeletebetty
Give me 1. Vanilla 2. Coffee 3. Cherry Vanilla other than that I don't bother trying too many other flavors. If one of those three are not available, I will eat what is, but I am not an ice aficionado and not that fussy between gourmet and a box brand. ;-) I guess I am just one of those common currs. hehehe
ReplyDeletePlus they get to read about how the experts say to interpret body language and everything else, and they take those magazine quizes (the girls do, anyway) and you are right, it's a wonder they ever figure anything out.
ReplyDeletepowerful read dear Joe
ReplyDeletewell said and thing you picked up for exampling is correct specially when relationship take time hardly more than takes in melting
i share blame you put on CHOICES
it is absolutely true and i want to write a book on this topic someday
I hear ya! I think people overthink EVERYTHING these days. I like simpler times, myself.
ReplyDeleteToo many choices these days - back a few months ago, pre-conronavirus, a grocery store had a whole aisle dedicated to toilet paper and paper goods. I'd stand there, and get confused. Now, no choices. Heck, I'll scurry up that 4 pack of sandpaper for my bottom, quick-like, before the next person.
I loved those mom and pop stores we had on every corner in San Francisco, growing up. No frills, no choices - just high prices. It was all worth it.