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Monday, February 3, 2020

Stupid Headlines 020220


Stupid Headlines 020320

Back by popular demand

(Actually no one asked for it, but this is for the non-existent Silent Majority)




STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY (on Monday)

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.

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Goop is selling a vagina-scented candle, and it's already sold out – So, I’m guessing they only made one. 

Meghan Markle plans to move to Los Angeles only after Trump leaves office – And I need to care because?

2 teen snowboarders lost in Canadian backcountry burned homework to survive – If teachers don’t buy the “The dog ate my homework” excuse, this excuse will surely fail also!

Oscar Mayer Weinermobile pulled over by Wisconsin cops – The driver was unaware of little-known Wisconsin rule requiring drivers of giant hotdogs to wear a cheese-head hat.





Car thief locks himself inside car – He may want to try a different profession.

Harvey Weinstein hit with hotel fee for smoking in room – I wouldn’t mine if he was smoking because he was also on fire.  I love seeing pompous fat pock-faced woman assaulting assholes get their comeuppance.  (Does that make me a bad person?)

Moose traps Alaska man inside shed while he frantically calls wife – “Hello, Thelma, yeah, I’m going to be a bit late for dinner.”

Vegetarian food company develops nicotine-like 'meat patch' to help curb cravings – I bet you thought you would never see the term “Meat patch” in a news headline.

Canadian teen calls cops after fake ID doesn’t arrive – I sense a future car thief getting locked in a car.

Massachusetts serial pooper arrested after police catch her defecating in parking lot – Ewww…just EWWW!

Man arrested for smoking marijuana while in court for marijuana charge – The line to Idiotville forms behind the car thief and the Canadian teen.


FEEL GOOD STORY OF THE WEEK

Brewery helps shelter dogs find forever homes — by putting their faces on beer cans – I don’t know why, but this does it for me.




 







7 comments:

  1. There are some real mental giants out there. You can't make this stuff up.

    I'd like to add one more story for you:

    Man Photographed Pooping In an Aisle at the Marina Safeway.

    Have a fabulous day and week, Joe. ��

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  2. Weinstein going to court using a walker has been killing me.

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  3. Hahaha! Great headlines & comebacks on your part--thanks Joe. The term "comeuppance", that's a good one you don't hear too often these days!

    PS. Okay I just looked at that Safeway link that Sandee posted--WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE!

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  4. Aww, I have missed these. Thanks Joe. And the teens took their homework with them snowboarding because----??

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  5. Heh, heh! I liked your prediction that the Fake ID Complainer is headed for a career of car-thieving self-imprisonment.

    OH MY GOSH! Now "meatless" has become the new "hating snow," which WAS the new "I don't watch TV except for PBS." Why is this now a bandwagon that all fast food chains have jumped on? A few days ago, I read that KFC is developing MEATLESS CHICKEN!

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  6. Always enjoy your headlines and comments. And why would anyone need a patch for that?

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  7. "Moose traps Alaska man inside shed while he frantically calls wife – “Hello, Thelma, yeah, I’m going to be a bit late for dinner.” "
    so who is calling the Missus? The Man or the Moose?
    I've read about Goop. Over-hyped and over-priced in my opinion.

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