A Detective in Training
If I wanted
to pull the wool over her eyes in any way, it would be futile.
Mrs. C knows
all.
The other
day at dinner she asked me,
“What do
you need?”
“My knife
is dirty…wait, how did you know I needed anything.”
“You raised
your eyes to the left, where the waitress always passes, I knew you were looking
for her for something.”
“You are
scary, you know that?”
Just the day
before, she came home from work and asked,
“Did you
have trouble replacing the battery in the smoke alarm.”
“Not too
much, only when…hey, wait a minute, how did you know I changed the battery?”
“I saw
the plastic from the battery packet in the recycle bin, and the step stool was
moved a bit from its usual place.”
“You are
scary, you know that?”
“I
observe.”
Last night
coming home from the store, we were waiting at a light to turn out of the mall parking
lot and I told her,
“That car
in front of us is going to the gas station on the left.”
“How do
you know?”
“It is elementary
my dear Sherlock. Did you notice his
trunk just popped open a little?”
“I
thought I saw some movement.”
“He meant
to pop open his gas tank cover and pulled the wrong lever. I do it all the time. He is going to pull into the gas station on
the left.”
The light
changed and the car in front did indeed pull into the gas station.
“Ah
Grasshopper, you are learning my ways.”
“Not
Grasshopper, but Watson to your Sherlock.”
Sherlock Holmes: I hear there's been a crime at the grocery store.
ReplyDeleteDoctor Watson: What happened?"
Sherlock Holmes: Male, about thirty, covered in Raisin Bran and dead as a doornail.
Doctor Holmes: Didn't we have one covered in Frosted Flakes yesterday? I wonder what is happening!
Sherlock Holmes: Elementary my dear Watson. This is the work of a cereal killer.
*******
That master detective, Sherlock Holmes, was sitting on his chair beside the fireplace calmly reading a book when suddenly, his good partner, Dr. Watson came in. Sherlock Holmes looked at his friend and smiled, saying, "Why, Dr. Watson, don't you think the weather is a bit hot for you to be wearing your red flannel underwear?" Dr. Watson was shocked by this incredible and wonderful logic. "My good man," he gasped, "How did you know I was wearing my red flannel underwear?" Holmes smiled wider and put down his book. He explained, "Elementary, my dear Watson. You forgot to put your pants on."
God bless.
Wow, she really is good! Seems like some of her tactics are rubbing off on you too! Perhaps a detective team down the line?
ReplyDeletebetty
Teamwork makes the dream work!
ReplyDeleteThere is a book titled How To Think Like Sherlock, by Daniel Smith. Maybe you could read it, learn his techniques, and impress her with how much you've picked up.
ReplyDeleteooooh! I have to find myself a copy of that one.
DeleteThis is great :)
ReplyDeleteI love you two, I really do. When I win lotto I'll come and visit.
Unless the orange skinned one has closed the borders...
That's impressive! You could be another Jessica Fletcher! Your observational skills are great, and you're already a writer. Of course, you're not a woman, but that's not necessarily a deal-breaker these days...
ReplyDeleteThanks for the smiles. I can always rely on your blog to cheer me up and make me laugh.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog but sometimes, like this one, I enjoy the comments even more.
ReplyDelete:-) I so enjoyed this post! I call it "women's intuition" that comes from years of trying to figure out what your kids are trying to keep you from noticing....but comparing her to Sherlock works too!
ReplyDeleteHa ha, you two are a pair and good to see you are holding your own against the master.
ReplyDeleteCatalyst: I love my wife.
ReplyDeleteWatson: Why is that, Sherlock, er, Catalyst?
Catalyst: Alimentary, my dear Watson.
Thanks for these anecdotal observations and keen deductions. Whenever I encounter such things I am transported to gas-lit, fogbound streets where it is always 1895.
ReplyDeletewow !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteshe is amazing indeed
how great you are adopting her attitude