STUPID HEADLINES 030120
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| I don't see what could possibly go wrong |
This
week’s stupid (or
strange)
headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments
__________________________
Rainbow
snake spotted in Florida national forest for first time in 50 years – All-e all-e in-free!
Steven Spielberg
reportedly 'concerned' over daughter's adult entertainment career – Close encounters of the lurid kind.
If you
drive an expensive car you're probably a jerk – By expensive they mean BMW, and by
jerk they mean BMW owner.
Over
1,300 complaints were sent to the FCC about Shakira and J. Lo's Super Bowl
halftime show – Which
means that 83,998,700 had no issue with the show…actually 83,998,699, I watch
the puppy bowl during halftime.
Dunkin'
Donuts' latest release is quite simply a bag of bacon – Mmmm…BACON!
A teen
girl beat the boys to become the first female wrestler to win her state
championship – I saw
the clip, this was no fluke, girl can wrestle…and she’s cute too.
What is
Mark Zuckerberg's net worth? – Depends if it can catch fish or not.
Jail
officials fear Weinstein will end up like Jeffrey Epstein – I suspect that Weinstein is also afraid
he might commit “suicide.”
Washington
state ‘road hazard’ turns out to be lost 600-pound sea lion – How the Hell do you lose a 600-pound
sea lion?
Mystery
smell overwhelms Pennsylvania county – I blame the first one who smelt it.
Because
of coronavirus, 38% of beer-drinking Americans now say they won't order a
Corona – Pretty sure
this is why “Bubonic Plague Pilsner” went out of business.
FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE WEEK!
Dave
Ayres, 42, emergency goaltender and Zamboni driver gets win in NHL debut – He is also a cancer survivor and a
kidney transplant recipient. This on the
anniversary of the USA/Russian Olympic “Miracle on Ice. I hate hockey, but the best sports stories
always come from this sport.
I actually saw most of these stories this week and I'm headed for Dunkin.
ReplyDeleteHeh, heh! The "net worth" took me a minute.
ReplyDeleteI love archery and I'm a pretty good shot but I don't allow Arnie our dog out while I'm shooting. A bag of bacon is a win win for sure! Sometimes we get a mystery smell here at the Pines but it's always the dog..(wink, wink) I can't even imagine that man's surprise when the hockey coach yells: "Hey ice cleaner guy..your in!"
ReplyDeleteIf I were young with good arteries, I'd definitely snatch up that bag of bacon.
ReplyDeleteLoved the Zamboni story.
That "net worth" comment is worth its weight in gold to me. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI wonder how many of these headlines are written deliberately to catch our attention.
ReplyDelete"Big Hole appears in road. Local Works Department looking into it".
God bless.
i enjoyed them dear
ReplyDeleteJoe !
and specially thank you for sharing about young wrestler PROUD OF HER !