More Just For Laughs

More Just For Laughs

Fraternity brother Marty is still at it.  He's doing the work, I'm just posting.

Back soon with my own stuff...maybe.

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'     - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter) <><>      I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.  But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.' - Eleanor Roosevelt <><>      Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. - Mark Twain <><>      The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending;    and to have the two as close together as possible. - George Burns <><>      Santa Claus has the right idea.  Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge <><>      Be careful about reading health books.  You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain <><>      By all means, marry.  If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates <><>      I was married by a judge.  I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx <><>      My wife has a slight impediment in her speech.  Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante <><>      I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor <><>      Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. - Alex Levine <><>      My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. - Rodney Dangerfield <><>      Money can't buy you happiness .... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan <><>      Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was   SHUT UP   . - Joe Namath <><>      I don't feel old.  I don't feel anything until noon.  Then it's time for my nap. - Bob Hope <><>      I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - W. C. Fields <><>      We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers <><>      Don't worry about avoiding temptation.  As you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill <><>      Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty, but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. - Phyllis Diller <><>      By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal And the cardiologist's diet:  if it tastes good spit it out. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more, and may nothing but happiness come through your door.