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Friday, February 21, 2020

Italian in a Car

Italian in a Car

I may have mentioned from time to time that Mrs. C is half Italian.  She is half Irish as well. 

Italians are great cooks.  They love to cook; food is a big part of an Italians culture. 

Mrs. C is Irish in the kitchen.

Italians are also known to be passionate.  They love with passion, they laugh with passion, they fight with passion.

Mrs. C is Italian in the car.

We drove to a family event the other day.  About two hours driving total.  The driver, my Italian in the car wife, managed to have words about many fellow drivers we encountered on the trip.  

We encountered three asses,  two assholes,  one ass-wipe, and there was even one mother-f*cker!

I had to ask.

“What makes one driver an ass and another an asshole?”

“An ass is just a bad driver; he is not paying attention.  An asshole knows what he is doing, he just doesn’t care.”

“What about an ass-wipe?  Is that worse than an asshole?”

“Big time.  An ass-wipe is paying attention and he will drive like an ass intentionally.  He goes out of his way to piss you off.”

“Someone who goes out of his way to piss you off, what could be worse than that?  Is a mother-f*cker worse than an ass-wipe?”

“Someone who drives like an ass intentionally, goes out of his way to piss you off and then flips you the bird when you honk the horn at him…that is a mother-f*ucker!”

I’ll bet you thought that annoying drivers were not categorized.  

You don’t drive with an Italian in the car.


  1. Wow, Irish and Italian. Volatile and Passionate. It's a wonder you've survived.

  2. Well, that's my morning made. Did you know your him, her and it accounts make me smile? I love Italian humour.

  3. Does your wife swear in Italian or Irish? Can you translate all those words you said in Italian?

    God bless.

  4. Too funny! Who knew it was so specific. I swear like that in the car and I'm 98% Italian American according to but I missed the class on the categories. I just swear like this. I need to have Mrs. C teach me. I need a brush up lesson!!

  5. Well now I know what category I really don't want to fall into:) I am super laid back behind the wheel. The most explosive I get is to quietly ask the offending driver,"Really??"

  6. I want to go driving with Mrs. Cranky sometime.


  7. This was absolutely hysterical. I am 98% Irish, I am polite and a slow driver (meaning that I stay at the speed limit). I will now assume that all those people behind me and giving me the finger are Italian.

  8. SWMBO and I both loved this one, Joe. You are a master.

  9. I will make a chart and tape it to the sun visor. That way I can check it at the stoplights, and use the proper disparaging words.

  10. Both Irish and Italian are passionate people. I have known a few who married.

  11. I could drive with Mrs. C just fine. Don't be such a back seat driver, Joe. ;)