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Monday, February 10, 2020

I Hope You’re Happy

I Hope You’re Happy

I may have spoken in the past of Mrs. C’s tendency to be a hoarder.  If not, Mrs. C tends to be a hoarder.  She is getting better, but still, she does have a problem letting things go.  If I threaten to toss some useless junk, her eyes gloss over and she gets a look of panic on her face.  We won’t be on that horrible hoarder TV show, but it is an issue.
The other day I was cleaning up some papers, tearing them up as they had some potentially sensitive numbers and information on them.  One page had no sensitive information on it and as I was about to tear it up, Mrs. C stopped me.
“I can use the blank side if I need to print something.”
“Oh please, that’s ridiculous, it’s a piece of paper, let me toss it.”
“It is a good piece of paper!”
This was not a battle worth fighting.
Fast forward a couple of days. 
We have a humidifier in our bedroom.  (We have forced hot air heating, and if you do not humidify the air you get dry skin and itchy scalp.) The humidifier broke down and we purchased an identical unit.  Mrs. C left the old unit for me to toss…sans the big globe that holds the water.
“Where is the water holding globe?”
“I’m not ready to throw it away yet.”
“Why the hell not?”
“In case the new plastic globe breaks.”
“You’re kidding!”
“Just leave it alone, I’ll take care of it.”
This was another battle not worth fighting; but I was annoyed that this globe that we would never use will take up space somewhere.  As I was fuming to myself, I saw the stupid piece of paper she did not want to throw away on top of a pile of similar stupid papers.
That’s right; I ripped it up and threw it away.
That night when Mrs. C came home from work she gave me that look.
“I hope your happy!”
I was pretty sure where this was going, but sometimes a wife will trick you.  Kind of like when a cop asks, “Do you know why I stopped you?”
I Played dumb, not wanting to admit to something she was not trying to have me confess.
“What are you talking about.”
“You threw away that piece of paper to spite me didn’t you!”
Damn, a borderline hoarder and a detective as well!!
“I hope you’re happy!”
I don’t know what or when, but there will be payback, and payback will be a bitch.

re-run from February 2017


  1. We need to give her a break in that she is a good recycler.

  2. Hoarding is like collecting. Nothing wrong with that. People collect stamps, old coins and so on. I lived near a golf course and I used to pick up and collect any lost golf balls I found as I walked home. I stopped when I saw a sign saying: Any Persons Caught Collecting Golf Balls Will Be Prosecuted and Have Their Balls Removed.

    Be careful JoeH. God bless.

  3. My husband gets that same look you described Mrs. Cranky getting. I "fear" going back to work and him being home during the day alone. I used to be able to get the mail when I was home and go through it and dispose of unnecessary stuff before he got home. Now I'm imagining stacks of it around the house. It is hard to be a minimalist married to a borderline hoarder. That could be a reality show.


  4. You two are so entertaining. You really are. I enjoy your posts and I'm glad you're going to continue to blog. Just so you know I rarely blog on the weekends. It's my time off.

    Have a fabulous day and week, Joe. 😎

  5. For Lent I'm throwing or giving something away every day for 40 days. Now, I just hope I don't buy something every day for 40 is hard

  6. Do you recycle? You had better, mister, or there will be hell to pay down the road.

  7. Amazing that she knew that exact piece of paper was gone. Ha ha, you don't have a prayer Joe.

  8. Well, in her defense, I have a box of paper from my kids' high school and college days that I use to print unimportant stuff. I probably use 8 sheets a week, so I assume it will last the rest of my life.

    Most things, though, I'm happy to throw away.

  9. I save a lot of stuff, but I don't save paper :)
    You two are funny.

  10. I use one of those humidifiers too for the same reason, and I DO see the logic behind keeping that extra water tank; that piece of paper though.. hahaha! I gotta give Mrs.C some props here for being thrifty, Joe :)

    FYI, when I moved into my new apartment a couple years ago and got one of those mini-trashcans to put under the kitchen sink, I discovered that the plastic bags from the supermarket are a perfect fit. In 3 years I've somehow wound up with 10,000 of them stuffed into a giant hefty bag in my front closet, I can't bring myself to toss 'em so I know how your wife feels :)

  11. But were you HAPPY? I'm going to guess that you were. Until Mrs. C got home from work.

  12. Hah! Caught again. Would it have made a difference if you had left the one piece of paper and tossed the rest? Or was she wanting to keep all of them? What am I saying? Of course she did.

  13. I kind of understand both of

  14. we save one-sided paper, for just that reason. It gets used for personal notes, for drafts, for anything that needs printing but isn't going anywhere but here. Right now Im using it for weaving notes and drafts, and I don't call that hoarding, I call that recycling. (so there)

    As to those store bags, some stores will take them back. They also retain heat, and if you have cats or dogs, they make wonderful cushions for them. I use old pillow cases for the outer covering.

    They also are amazing as spot insulation if you have a drafty place along the wall. Regular fiberglass insulation works, but not in an old house. It's made for modern houses with 16" centers. Sigh.

  15. You leave Mrs. C alone! Says the woman who hoards boxes...

  16. The problem, i find, with saving things for "someday", is that someday is not a day in the week.

    1. "someday" is a state of mind. Trust me. And if you wait long enough, it gets here. Someday.

  17. your wife sounds exactly like my husband lol

    he exactly does same ,we have pretty collection of broken or cracked grinders (part in which spices grind) though we have newer but he is not agree to throw older on beyond my limited wisdom ,so many other things for which we might be needing another store room soon