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Monday, February 3, 2020

Stupid Headlines 020220

Stupid Headlines 020320

Back by popular demand

(Actually no one asked for it, but this is for the non-existent Silent Majority)


This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.


Goop is selling a vagina-scented candle, and it's already sold out – So, I’m guessing they only made one. 

Meghan Markle plans to move to Los Angeles only after Trump leaves office – And I need to care because?

2 teen snowboarders lost in Canadian backcountry burned homework to survive – If teachers don’t buy the “The dog ate my homework” excuse, this excuse will surely fail also!

Oscar Mayer Weinermobile pulled over by Wisconsin cops – The driver was unaware of little-known Wisconsin rule requiring drivers of giant hotdogs to wear a cheese-head hat.

Car thief locks himself inside car – He may want to try a different profession.

Harvey Weinstein hit with hotel fee for smoking in room – I wouldn’t mine if he was smoking because he was also on fire.  I love seeing pompous fat pock-faced woman assaulting assholes get their comeuppance.  (Does that make me a bad person?)

Moose traps Alaska man inside shed while he frantically calls wife – “Hello, Thelma, yeah, I’m going to be a bit late for dinner.”

Vegetarian food company develops nicotine-like 'meat patch' to help curb cravings – I bet you thought you would never see the term “Meat patch” in a news headline.

Canadian teen calls cops after fake ID doesn’t arrive – I sense a future car thief getting locked in a car.

Massachusetts serial pooper arrested after police catch her defecating in parking lot – Ewww…just EWWW!

Man arrested for smoking marijuana while in court for marijuana charge – The line to Idiotville forms behind the car thief and the Canadian teen.


Brewery helps shelter dogs find forever homes — by putting their faces on beer cans – I don’t know why, but this does it for me.



  1. There are some real mental giants out there. You can't make this stuff up.

    I'd like to add one more story for you:

    Man Photographed Pooping In an Aisle at the Marina Safeway.

    Have a fabulous day and week, Joe. ��

  2. Weinstein going to court using a walker has been killing me.

  3. Hahaha! Great headlines & comebacks on your part--thanks Joe. The term "comeuppance", that's a good one you don't hear too often these days!

    PS. Okay I just looked at that Safeway link that Sandee posted--WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE!

  4. Aww, I have missed these. Thanks Joe. And the teens took their homework with them snowboarding because----??

  5. Heh, heh! I liked your prediction that the Fake ID Complainer is headed for a career of car-thieving self-imprisonment.

    OH MY GOSH! Now "meatless" has become the new "hating snow," which WAS the new "I don't watch TV except for PBS." Why is this now a bandwagon that all fast food chains have jumped on? A few days ago, I read that KFC is developing MEATLESS CHICKEN!

  6. Always enjoy your headlines and comments. And why would anyone need a patch for that?

  7. "Moose traps Alaska man inside shed while he frantically calls wife – “Hello, Thelma, yeah, I’m going to be a bit late for dinner.” "
    so who is calling the Missus? The Man or the Moose?
    I've read about Goop. Over-hyped and over-priced in my opinion.