When it is OK to Be Judgmental

When it is OK to Be Judgmental

I recently found this post while cleaning out my Documents File.  I don’t think I ever posted it.  I checked and could not find it on Blogger.  I probably thought it too mean spirited at the time.  Today I am feeling just cranky enough to post it.

I hope I don’t upset and lose any on my 17 readers with this post, but I feel it makes a fair observation.

There are some things and or habits that it is perfectly OK to be critical of, and even be rude to others who have specific behavior, then there are other habits or behavior that it is unacceptable to berate anyone for.

Smokers: Smokers have a choice to smoke or not smoke and therefore it is perfectly OK to confront them and berate them for their choice.  It is apparently acceptable to confront a smoker and tell him “You know that is killing you don’t you?” Or when outside, “Why do I have to suffer from your second hand smoke?”

Now as an ex-smoker I must admit I do not like the smell, but instead of hating on the smokers, I feel sorry for them.  I know that this “Habit’ is in fact a very powerful addiction. Some studies say it is possibly more difficult to break than heroin.  Currently smokers can basically only smoke in their own home.  Smokers pay about $6 a day in taxes, and suffer health issues.  Why is it OK to hate on them?

Drug Addiction: On the other hand, drug addicts, often the dregs of society, sometimes hooked because of the rampant prescribing of pain pills are treated better than smokers.  People simply step over sidewalk sleeping addicts.  I never hear of someone going up to a drug addict and saying, “You know that stuff is killing you don’t you?” Or “Why do I have to step over and or smell your sidewalk feces?”

People are not rude to drug addicts, they pity them…not sure what the difference is, but smokers are despised, drug addicts pitied.

Fat people: Almost all fat people are addicted to sugar.  You think it is glandular or hereditary?  Just look at old films of the early 1900’s, zillions of people in NYC hustling back and forth, not a one is overweight.  People are overweight because they are sedentary and addicted to sugar.  I fight the problem myself.

Does anyone ever go up to a fat person and say, “You know that weight is killing you don’t you?” Or “Why do I have to smell your sweaty body odor?” No, they do not.

 Drunks: I have been to a million parties where there are obnoxious drunks and they are seldom called out on it.  Drunks are tolerated, sometimes even encouraged even though they are really obnoxious…and yes I have been guilty of this in the past.  Seldom are they told “Shut the F up, you are obnoxious and making a fool of yourself.”  Next day drunkenness is often a thing to brag about.  “Man, I was sooo waisted last night.”  No one ever tells them, “Dude you were wasted and you were an embarrassing pain in the ass!” And by the way, that stuff will kill you!”

These days I often hear women speak of “Mommies little helper,” and joke and brag about that glass of wine or two (three) they have every night.  They are never scolded, but truth is many of these women are alcoholics as bad as the man who has to stop into the bar every day after work.  It is a problem, but it is not acceptable to point it out.

Why is it sometimes OK to correct a person’s spelling errors, especially ones that are obvious editing mistakes, you know the ones even spell check misses, and yet those who use poor grammar are never corrected.

A person will say, “I had went to my mom house to be getting loaned some money” And never be corrected; but write a blog and use the word ‘isle’ instead of ‘aisle’ and you will be attacked and labeled a moron. 

If you told me that you love knitting, I would never say anything other than “That must be a relaxing hobby” Or “It must be nice to have a hobby that makes useful things.”

Truth is I think knitting is silly and I would find it incredibly boring…I would never say that, no one would.  (Please forget I just said it)

And yet.

It is perfectly OK and quite common for people to tell me that my pastime of TV watching is stupid and TV is horrible and boring. Or if I mention I love playing golf there are always people who have to volunteer that, “It is such a silly game chasing a little white ball around the grass.”

I am not complaining mind you…well actually I am, but mostly I am just curious; why is it socially acceptable to be rude or dismissive of some behavior while others are to be simply pitied and or ignored?