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Thursday, December 20, 2018

You Might Just be a Cruise Asshole


You Might Just be a Cruise Asshole

Blog…oooh…What is it good for?

Absolutely venting!

That’s right if for nothing else a blog is a great way to vent about stupid people and then just move on and not stew about them.

Did I run into stupid people on our Hawaiian cruise?  Why yes, yes I did, and that is why I am venting with a post I like to call, with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy,

You might just be a cruise asshole.

Are you a cruise asshole?  Some people apparently do not know.  If they knew they would act differently…maybe.  If you are not sure, here are a few observations by this cranky old man that are indications that

You might just be a cruise asshole.

If you get up out of your plane seat, block the aisle, clobber people pulling out your carryon bags before the plane even starts to let people off, then

“You might just be a cruise asshole!”

If even after 197 warnings, you flush baby wipes or sanitary pads down the ship toilet and clog all the toilets in 178 cabins, then

“You might just be a cruise asshole!”

If you get on an excursion boat and make sure to pile shirts and bags on the seats next to you so you have extra room, then

“You might just be a cruise asshole!”

If you take someone else’s bus seat, especially friends of Cranky, after a stop to see another friggin waterfall, because it is closer to the front, then

“You might just be a cruise asshole!”

If you drop that seat back so far that Cranky’s knees don’t fit behind it, then

It is confirmed, “You are a cruise asshole!”  And yes, I did bang my knee against the seat all the way back to the ship.  (BTW dude, your wife is butt ugly!!)

If you are at a buffet breakfast and the bus person asks how you are doing to find out if you are through with your plate and you ask him for a glass of juice, which is not his job, then

“You might just be a cruise asshole!”

If when the bus person comes back with your juice you tell him you also need a glass for your wife who is still grabbing her breakfast, then

“You are probably a cruise asshole.”

If when the bus person returns with the second glass you say nothing, not even “Thank you” then

It is confirmed, “You are a cruise asshole!”

If you save four seats at the ship theater for people that never show up, then

“You might just be a cruise asshole!”

If someone is taking a picture and you walk right through like you own the ship, then

“You might just be a cruise asshole!”

If you are taking a picture and hold up non cruise-assholes for more than two minutes while you get the perfect shot, then

“You might just be a cruise asshole!”

If you think you are entertaining the entire elevator when you are really just a sloppy drunk, then

“You might just be a cruise asshole!”

If you are in a hurry to get off the plane and leave your Kindle behind, you are not a cruise asshole, but you are a jerk!  Just ask Mrs. C.

You might think from this list that I had a crappy time on our cruise of the Hawaiian Islands, no, it was an excellent trip.  Cruise assholes won’t bring me down, I just blog about them and like Mary Poppins, Spit Spot-rub hands, they just go away!

Mahalo and Alooooooha!



13 comments:

  1. The one thing I see in common in all your descriptions is that people these days are selfish. And that makes me sad.

    God bless you.

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  2. They are everywhere, you just have to enjoy yourself in spite of them, which you did. That's the best revenge.

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  3. They are worse that casino assholes who light a cigarette, not to smoke, but to let the smoke drift across your upper lip/under-nose area! At least going into a casino, you expect there to be smoke.

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  4. Half of these behaviors I see even when I'm driving or in the grocery store. It's as though people don't see anyone but themselves.

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  5. That's a funny list, I had a good laugh. I do get extremely annoyed at people who just wander around in front of cameras when they can clearly see you are framing a shot and don't want them in it.

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  6. I don't think I'm a cruise asshole but I meet a few on my travels. The worst was a guy who shot his seat back which spilled my young son's lunch all over him, his seat and the floor. No apology. Apparently I shouldn't have had such a young boy on the plane!!

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  7. My cruise have only a few of these and I ignore them.

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  8. Those people are everywhere...not just on crusie ships.

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  9. That picture of the guy flinging someone over the side is why I'd never take a cruise if my spouse was even a little mad at me.
    Those assholes don't just save up that behavior for cruises. They are daily on the roads, in stores and theaters. They do make funny blog fodder though. So glad they didn't spoil your marvelous trip.

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  10. Love the picture!! Is that what you'd like to do?

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