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Saturday, December 22, 2018

STUPID HEADLINES 122318


STUPID HEADLINES 122318
I Don't care
This week’s stupid headlines, and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.

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Senate unanimously votes to make lynching a federal crime – Holy Shit!  Who knew lynching was legal? Still time to hang a few people before this gets signed into law!

Florida mom, daughter sent contraband to prison via drone delivery – Only in Florida!

Missouri man must watch ‘Bambi’ monthly as part of poaching punishment – That sounds like cruel and unusual punishment to me.

Why you should skip the workout if you're hungover, according to experts – I don’t need an expert to tell me not to work out, if I feel like shit, I stay home.

Actual Witches Say They're Offended By Trump Using the Term 'Witch-hunt'- This is ridiculous, I’m pretty sure the President is just confused and is asking Which Hunt?

Eliot Spitzer sneaked his $5G-a-night Russian escort into his home in suitcase – I remember when this guy was busting Wall Street and acting all high and mighty and thinking, “I don’t know, he just looks like a real Dick!”  I think I was right.

Just looks like a Dick…Right?

Michigan ‘miracle lady’ starts breathing moments after plug is pulled on life support – Nice story, but I have to wonder, the husband made the difficult decision to pull the plug and now every time she sees him, is she thinking “You pulled the friggin plug!!”

Ford recalls nearly 900,000 F-150 pickups after fires – It would have been nice if they recalled them before they went up in flames!

Referee Makes High School Wrestler Cut His Dreadlocks or Forfeit Match – WTF!! What is wrong with people? (Kid cut his hair and won the match…ref is a douche!)

PETA condemns Popeyes' 'emotional support chicken' – Popeyes’ latest promotion, fried chicken in a basket that looks like a big chicken condemned by PETA.  These people have way too much time on their hands.

Alfonso Ribeiro sues video game creator over 'Carlton' dance – You can copyright a dance?  Crap, the guy that invented the Waltz must be loaded!

FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE WEEK

Retired Marine tackles gun-wielding bar patron in Pennsylvania – I don’t know about you, but a good well-deserved Marine ass-kicking always warms my heart…when will people learn not to mess with a Marine of any age?



8 comments:

  1. Kudos for your usual excellent assortment, and i also like the fact that the Marine gave the robber something to remember in the future.

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  2. I too love the feel good story the best.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. 😎

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  3. MO will never catch FL in the stupid headlines department, but we're creeping closer. We ARE the Show-Me State, and it looks like we really showed that poacher the error of his ways.

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  4. Hum, he got the hooker into a suitcase?? She must have been tiny or very flexible.

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  5. I read about the Marine butt smack down.
    I smiled.

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  6. “You pulled the friggin plug!!” can be really true (if it ever happens)

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  7. That drone delivery has me singing - ♪♫♪♫ ...up on the housetop...♪♫♪♫

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