STUPID HEADLINES 100216
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| I guess there are no rain delays when he pitches |
It is time again for
Stupid Headline Sunday
This week’s stupid headlines
and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
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California man gets 30 years for trying to
join ISIS – His defense was “It depends on what the
meaning of IS IS.”
Could another person's
feces help you lose weight? – Well
this headline caused me to lose my breakfast, so I guess Yeah!
Domino's customer discovers $5,000 in
a chicken wings box – And they deliver within 20 minutes or the wings are free!
Mexican smuggler gets 4 years in
prison for crashing into Texas military installation – He may not be the sharpest cube of
beef in the taco.
'Decoding the Civil
War': Tech unlocks Union telegrams – Mr. President…stop…The show is horrible…stop…stay
home it is not worth the money…stop…
University of Michigan
professors instructed to stick to 'preferred pronouns' – OK, I know I’m a
Neanderthal and I didn’t know what a ‘preferred pronoun was, and how are
Professors going to remember which ones to use for each student. I Googled it: https://www.ccsu.edu/lgbt/files/PreferredGenderPronounsForFaculty.pdf
And then I threw up a little in my mouth.
Michigan student
successfully changes preferred pronoun to 'His Majesty' on class roster – I get it now. I would
demand to be referred to as M’Lord!
Can robots write a song
in the style of the Beatles? Yes, apparently – “I Want To Hold Your
End Effector”
Bystander expects to record police brutality, ends up
helping officer – So the guy
got beat up by the cop and the bystander?
What is the meaning and history behind your
last name? – Apparently one of my relatives had a
really big hedge!
Your Toxic Co-Workers Now Have a Legal Right to Be
Jerks at Work – Does that
go for Husbands also?
Dindim the penguin returns
to the man who saved his life – And the feel good headline of the
week is:
http://www.cnn.com/2016/09/27/americas/dindim-penguin-trnd/?iid=ob_homepage_deskrecommended_pool
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Come
back next week for more
Good ones, but think the pitcher one is best - obviously, somebody needs to lose his job ...
ReplyDeleteDo you know which Dominos that was? The penguin story is beautiful, i'm glad you included it.
ReplyDeleteThe preferred pronoun stopped me cold...I looked it up using your link...how confusing does life have to get? I may revert to the 'hey you' method of address.
ReplyDeleteYou had a good week of collecting.
ReplyDeleteI loved that penguin story. Precious.
ReplyDeleteI think the headlines are funny, but your responses are even funnier.
I linked you to Silly Sunday.
Have a fabulous day. ☺
dominoes dealing drugs? might be a good way to deliver...
ReplyDeleteyeah, that pitcher headline wins...
I'm all confused about this "preferred pronoun" thing. Is "jerk" masculine or feminine or amphibious? I guess what I'm asking is, can it swing both ways? Maybe I should have paid more attention in English class. ;)
ReplyDeleteLoved the penguin story. :) The U of M preferred pronoun?? Are you kidding me right now??? I read that file and nope. I guess I'd be fired because that sounds like a lot of coddling to me. Given the number of students in any one class that's a whole lotta' trying not to be hurtful, disrespectful and oppressive. Ugh. On the other hand. I would prefer HRH and fully expect curtsies from everyone everywhere I went.
ReplyDeleteFishduckies do not care what we are called as long as we are fed!!
ReplyDeleteI dated an ambidextrous pitcher in high school, now I am wondering if he could have been amphibious also. I'll never know.
ReplyDeleteDepends on what the meaning of Is Is-------Brilliant as well as funny.
ReplyDeleteHey thought they said Icyies.
ReplyDeleteI'm just glad the pitcher isn't reptilian....now THAT would be scary!
ReplyDeleteSo that's the trick. Don't order PIZZA from Domino's, order WINGS! Because around here, all we get are PENNIES in our pizza. Not me. But one of our teachers did, and bit into it, and had to take Domino's to court to get the resulting dental damage paid for.
ReplyDeleteThe first Frog-American to pitch in the major leagues?
ReplyDeleteAnd what happens when a switch-hitter comes to bat?
And gosh, it's the University of Michigan; what do you expect? (is 'shithead' a pronoun?) (which reminds me of a comedy sketch I saw somewhere, about a guy who named his kid Shithead - pronounced shi-THEED)