The Logic Train Does Not Stop At My House

The Logic Train Does Not Stop At My House

Mrs. C complains that I often make fun of her idiosyncrasies.  She thinks she has no idiosyncrasies.  I guess if you don’t call hiding food from you husband, or not wanting to walk on the sidewalk, or dipping your spoon in pudding instead of scooping it, idiosyncrasies, then she is correct.  Just when I get used to one “unusual modus operandi” I uncover another.

The other day my garage door remote was not working.  I figured it needed a new battery, but I also thought we had another remote that would have a good battery.  I looked in a small kitchen storage thingy that is stuffed with assorted papers in little filing slots and then pulls open for extra stuff storage.

I was pretty sure that this is where the second remote was.  When I opened it up, a wad of about 220 old losing lottery tickets spilled out. 

“WTF!” This was not good.

Mrs. C was not home; she was working at a ballroom dance competition.  Mrs. C does not want me snooping around in this cabinet.  I could not stack all those tickets back in a way that would allow me to put them back and also close the door. 

I did find the other remote. 

When Mrs. C called later that day I confessed to her what I did. 

“I can’t close that kitchen cabinet thingy and also put back all your lottery tickets.”

“What were you doing in that cabinet anyway, and don’t you lose those tickets?”

“I was looking for the other garage remote, which I found, and what the heck are you saving those tickets for anyway?”

“Never mind!”

“You’re saving them as a tax write off in case you hit the big one aren’t you.”

“Maybe.”

“You realize that more than half those tickets are older than a year and couldn’t be used as a write off don’t you?”

“Maybe, just don’t throw them away.”

“As ridiculous as it is to save a fist full of losing tickets so when you hit for $100,000 or more we would only have to pay tax on $99,815, at least let me toss the tickets from last year and older.”

“NO! (exclaimed with a tone bordering on panic) don’t throw any away, they might change the law.”

For my next comment in this exchange I need to tell you that we have a storage unit which cost, I don’t want to say how much, every month where she keeps crap that her kids may want someday.  This shed is full to the brim and may contain about $250 worth of crap that her kids will never want, but say they might.  For the cost of this storage unit over the years I could purchase 10 brand new of whatever is in there.  I look at it as spending “X” dollars every month to keep a happy marriage.  

However, I am not above poking her about it from time to time.

“Maybe we could put the losing lottery tickets in the storage unit,”

“Just put them aside, I’ll fit the back when I get home.”

Then you’ll never guess what she called me.