STUPID (but no fake)
HEADLINES 102515
It
is time again for
 |
| I'll bet they find the last place they look |
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes
sophomoric comments. As in previous
weeks, there is no
fake headline contest!
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Overdue books returned to Portland library, 52 years later – Local
artist claims “I just forgot” is now looking for donations to help pay the
53,692.88 fine.
Aer Lingus Passenger Flips Out, Bites Fellow Passenger, Dies – Can Aer
Lingus be held responsible? (I don’t know what that means; I just like saying Can
Aer Lingus)
Kerry calls for end to 'senseless' violence in Israel – Well,
that should end the problem…why haven’t we thought of this before?
Detroit pastor shoots, kills hammer-wielding church intruder – Rock
beats scissors, paper covers rock, scissors cut paper, gun beats hammer… and
just about anything.
2 shot during Old West gunfight re-enactment in Tombstone – Sometimes
that realism thing goes too far. This
would be one of those times.
Ohio delays executions until 2017 over lack of lethal drugs – They
could just give them some Viagra, some cocaine, and send them to a Nevada whore
house. (Actually I am against capital punishment…I might be
in favor of whore houses though.)
Study says saliva test can accurately predict whether you're gay – Test
shows that if you swap it with another man, you are probably gay.
Hunter shoots two moose -- then realizes they're in a zoo – You would think the big sign
with the Z O O letters would have given him a clue…you would think wrong.
Did
Mike Ditka Fart During Monday Night Countdown?- “Da’ bear pass Da’ Gas?”
British man removes ears in quest to look more like pet parrots – “NO
NO! I wanted to ‘ear like my parrot,
not two ears like my parrot! DAMN!” Good
thing he didn’t ask for a cock knee accent.
Officer accused of biting man's testicle off the force – What
were the man’s testicles doing on the force?
J.K. Rowling Reveals
How Voldemort is Supposed to Be Pronounced and Blows Our Muggle Minds – Surprisingly enough,
the correct pronunciation is Whodafucares.
__________________________
Come back next week for more:
STUPID
HEADLINE SUNDAY!!
Where there is no fake headline contest
"Aer Lingus Passenger Flips Out, Bites Fellow Passenger, Dies"
ReplyDeleteWas this a Donner Party family reunion flight?
So I'm thinking if the guy had just flipped OFF his fellow passenger, then LICKED him, this could have had a much better ending.
Yes, the headlines are stupid, but your rebuttals are HILARIOUS!
ReplyDeleteonce again, proof that truth is stranger than fiction.
ReplyDeleteYes, who cares how Voldemort is pronounced? Great rebuttals.
ReplyDeleteUSA Today had a stupid headline today......something about High Schoolers Are Tired and Bored.
ReplyDeleteBwahahahahahahahaha. The world has gone over the edge hasn't. Love your rebuttals.
ReplyDeleteI linked you to Silly Sunday too.
Have a fabulous day. ☺
Saliva test sounds suspect. (My answer.)
ReplyDeleteI care about Voldemort. Dweeb, I am.
As Val would say, I love your rebuttals (ha ha I said BUTT!)
ReplyDeleteAnd Joe said TESTICLES! My 13-year-old self is snorting with glee!
DeleteBiting man's testicle??? Ouch...that would hurt! (I think)
ReplyDeleteYour stupider sophomoric comments are outstanding this week!
ReplyDelete#1) I wonder if that book was Tropic of Cancer?
#2) Heh, heh! Kind of like that SNL bit with Christopher Walken as Colonel Angus.
Some funny headlines. I'm now curious if the earless man had a beak implant
ReplyDelete