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Sunday, October 25, 2015
STUPID HEADLINES 102515
STUPID (but no fake) HEADLINES 102515
It is time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments. As in previous weeks, there is no fake headline contest!
Overdue books returned to Portland library, 52 years later – Local artist claims “I just forgot” is now looking for donations to help pay the 53,692.88 fine.
Aer Lingus Passenger Flips Out, Bites Fellow Passenger, Dies – Can Aer Lingus be held responsible? (I don’t know what that means; I just like saying Can Aer Lingus)
Kerry calls for end to 'senseless' violence in Israel – Well, that should end the problem…why haven’t we thought of this before?
Detroit pastor shoots, kills hammer-wielding church intruder – Rock beats scissors, paper covers rock, scissors cut paper, gun beats hammer… and just about anything.
2 shot during Old West gunfight re-enactment in Tombstone – Sometimes that realism thing goes too far. This would be one of those times.
Ohio delays executions until 2017 over lack of lethal drugs – They could just give them some Viagra, some cocaine, and send them to a Nevada whore house. (Actually I am against capital punishment…I might be in favor of whore houses though.)
Study says saliva test can accurately predict whether you're gay – Test shows that if you swap it with another man, you are probably gay.
Hunter shoots two moose -- then realizes they're in a zoo – You would think the big sign with the Z O O letters would have given him a clue…you would think wrong.
Did Mike Ditka Fart During Monday Night Countdown?- “Da’ bear pass Da’ Gas?”
British man removes ears in quest to look more like pet parrots – “NO NO! I wanted to ‘ear like my parrot, not two ears like my parrot! DAMN!” Good thing he didn’t ask for a cock knee accent.
Officer accused of biting man's testicle off the force – What were the man’s testicles doing on the force?
J.K. Rowling Reveals How Voldemort is Supposed to Be Pronounced and Blows Our Muggle Minds – Surprisingly enough, the correct pronunciation is Whodafucares.
Come back next week for more:
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!
Where there is no fake headline contest