Annoying Sage Advice
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| WHAT? |
I hate that
some people always have some sage old advice or saying that sums up any
situation. Usually these tid-bits are
thrown in to end a discussion. Many
times they are responsible for killing any new idea, or just making you feel
like an idiot. Half the time the sage
advice or saying is full of crap, but it comes from a source that requires head
nodding agreement.
Idea crusher
My personal
favorite idea crusher usually comes from your boss. After an extensive presentation as to how
your fantastic idea can improve processing and save tons of money, your pompous
ass boss who doesn’t want it to appear that his way of doing things can ever be
improved on says,
“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix
it!” End of discussion.
Has there
been any advance in technology in the past five hundred years that this stupid
ass statement would not have buried?
"It's a slippery slope..."
This one is used to crush any minor change to improve a rule or a law. "Maybe we should force people to prove they know which end of the gun fires the bullet before they are allowed to purchase one."
"No way, that is just a slippery slope to government taking away anything that shoots or has a sharp point!"
Bull shit...that kind of thinking is a slippery slope to Moronville!
Some sage
advice is conflicting. If you follow this
crap, your mind will jello-fy. (It’s a word now)"It's a slippery slope..."
This one is used to crush any minor change to improve a rule or a law. "Maybe we should force people to prove they know which end of the gun fires the bullet before they are allowed to purchase one."
"No way, that is just a slippery slope to government taking away anything that shoots or has a sharp point!"
Bull shit...that kind of thinking is a slippery slope to Moronville!
Conflicting Sage Advice
“Insanity is doing something over and
over again and expecting a different result."
"If at first you don't succeed try,
try again"
“Patience is its own reward”
“He who hesitates is lost”
“Trust in the Lord”
“Look before you leap”
Perhaps
this last one could be changed to “Trust in the
Lord, but first look before you leap.”
Some advice has resulted in followers getting their ass kicked.
“It’s not the size of the dog in the
fight it is the size of fight in the dog.”
“The bigger they are, the harder they
fall.”
Some sayings should be gender specific:
“It’s not the number of breaths you take
in life; it’s the things in life that take your breath away.” This should never be uttered by a
man…it just shouldn’t!
Here is one that needs amending:
“Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you
stronger”
To
“Whatever doesn’t kill you, cripple you,
or fuck up your head might teach you a lesson.”
Some wise old adages just piss me off,
whether they are valid or not
“Early to bed, early to rise…” Fuck
you; I’m not a morning person!
“A penny saved is a penny earned” Great advice, if I had saved for my
first $30,000 house 45 years ago, I’d have $60,000 now to put down on a
$350,000 house. Once again: Fuck you!
“A stitch in time saves nine” I don’t know what the Hell this
means…but it makes me angry!
Of
course all advice isn’t useless or confusing.
Best advice ever from a brother
If it
looks like a fight is unavoidable, throw the first punch and aim for the
face…then run like hell.
“Insanity is doing something over and over again and expecting a different result."
ReplyDeleteThat one is true, which means I'm insane.
Week after week, I buy a lotto ticket expecting to win big.
Listen to your brother!!
ReplyDeleteHa ha, someone said to me the other day 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger' - I disagree, as far as I'm concerned it just doesn't kill you! What I REALLY hate is those people who always give annoying sage advice AFTER the event, how bloody useless is THAT?
ReplyDeleteBut, Joe, I believe all that crap.
ReplyDeleteI did punch my brother. He still hates me, almost 40 years later.
ReplyDeleteWhat River said because it is true. I've seen people repeat the same thing over and over expecting a different result. I already know I'm insane though so it's all good.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
Excellent rant!
ReplyDeleteI think many of these sayings have become cliche's, and people say them because they can't or don't want to think for themselves.
ReplyDeleteI was raised on all of that. At least I now have an excuse for my jello-fied brain.
ReplyDeleteI think I would just run. I would hurt my fist otherwise :-)
ReplyDeleteAnd I am quite good running too!
My personal favorite (sarcasm) is when someone (usually online) says that your rebuttal is 'a straw man.' Never makes any sense to me.
ReplyDeleteMeant to say that no matter how I often I've read the definition of a straw man argument, it never makes any sense to me what the other person really means.
ReplyDelete"A stitch in time saves nine" is a sewing saying. If you notice a small tear on a seam in a garment, and you stitch it up right away, it will save you having to repair a bigger tear later on.
ReplyDeleteAnd i agree with W.C Fields when he said, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it."
Sometimes we don't have a choice, we cannot in any way follow the instructions that are given to us any way. Some times we do not get a second try or second chance to try. Yet I try to follow the idioms to the best of my capacity.
ReplyDeleteI do not like "This, too, shall pass." Of course it will. But it's taking too freakin' long!
ReplyDelete"It's better to have a bottle in front of you than a frontal lobotomy."
ReplyDeleteGreat stuff, Joe.
ReplyDelete"I complained about my shoes, until I saw a man with no feet." Yeah, but it doesn't mean you don't still have a footwear problem.
ReplyDelete