THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
I intend for this blog to be non-political. If I offer a political statement, rebuttals are permitted, however this blog is not for the unsolicited political opinions of others and as such those comments will be deleted and not published.
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Monday, October 12, 2015
CRANKY IS SHORT FOR JOSEPH - a cranky re-wind
CRANKY IS SHORT FOR JOSEPH
This re-wind is from October 2013
My first name is Joseph. My parents decided to call me Joe, short for Joseph. Actually they called me Jody, but I put the Kybosh on that when I was five and saw “Old Yeller.” The little girl in “Old Yeller” was called Jody.
Joe, short for Joseph, makes sense.
Everyone called my mother Peg, or Peggy. I was told numerous times,“So your mom’s first name is Margret.”
“No her first name was Mary.”
“But Peg is short for Margaret, not Mary.”
How on God’s green earth is Peg short for either Margaret, or Mary?
This has always bothered me. Seems I bother easy.
How is Jim short for James? Should be Jay, or Jame. What about Bob? Short for Robert? No, Rob is short for Robert. Bob is short for Bobert; do you know anyone named Bobert?
Jack? Jack is short for John. Seems to me both are four letters. Jack should just be Jack. If your last name is Johnson, somewhere along the line you had an ancestor named John. If your last name is Jackson, might you somehow be related to Johnson?
Glen is short for Glenn. WTH, just drop one friggin “n” in the first place.
My favorite Aunt was Aunt Nancy…don’t tell any of my other Aunts. It was a close finish…anyway; my favorite Aunt was Aunt Nancy. It was not until her funeral that I learned her real first name was Eleanor.
Is Nancy short for Eleanor?
It turns out my Grandmother was an Eleanor. Her mother demanded that Aunt Nancy, the first daughter, also be named Eleanor. Grandma relented,
“I will name her Eleanor, but I am calling her Nancy!”
My cousin Nelson, son of Nancy, short for Eleanor, was called Neils. He didn’t like Neils and opted for Neil. He didn’t like Neil so he changed it to Nels. By the time I got used to Nels he changed it to Niles. When I called him Niles he told me his name was Nils. You may see him comment on this blog from time to time.
He comments as Nelson.
How is Chuck short for Charles? Dick short for Richard? Betty short for Elizabeth? Hank short for Henry? How is Peg short for Margaret; for that matter, how is Meg short for Margaret?
My friend Gil, short for Gilbert, is called Buddy. Seems his mother looked at her little baby and could not bring herself to call him Gilbert. Buddy is long for Bud, which it seems is short for any first name that people do not like, or do not know… “Hey Buddy” could work for any stranger.
Bill is short for William. How does that happen? Baby brother had a speech impediment?
Why do we even have “short for’s” anyway? If you’re going to call him Jim, just name him Jim.
It should be simple, but then Cranky is short for Joseph.