THE HOARDER...SORTA
Mrs. C is an
almost hoarder. She doesn’t like to
throw things away, but it is not like we can't enter and exit our house
unimpeded. Our closets, attic and garage
are chock full of stuff, and there is a storage unit that sucks up a monthly
fee that I don’t even like to think about (Storage units are
where old crap goes to die), but occasionally she will let go of things.
Does she
save Popsicle sticks? Well yes, but not
always.
Does she
save boxes in case she needs to return the item that came in the box? Well yes, but she will put other boxes in the
boxes.
Have I found
receipts that are over three years old?
Well yes…is that unusual?
I have
learned to bite my tongue about stuff that takes up space. I have stopped arguing that space is as
valuable as useless stuff. I did find an
old VCR rewind machine that I made fun of and sure enough the next day we used
it to help sort through some old family tapes.
I let it go,
because I can deal with it, and also because I know it is a disease. How do I know? When I suggest we throw away something, there
is a palpable look of fear that crosses her face.
If a movie
producer needed an actor to show fear in a scene, they could hire Mrs. C.
“Ok folks, this is where the monster
rings the door bell. Mrs. C, you answer
the bell and give it your best fear face.
Action…”
The bell
rings, Mrs. C goes to the door.
“Queue the old pair of jeans,
threaten to throw them away.”
Mrs. C opens
the door and sees not the monster, but her 20 year old jeans being thrown away.
“Arrrrrrgh!! NO!! NOOO!!!”
“Cut.
That’s a take. Beautiful. Give Mrs. C her old jeans back, we’ll need
her to calm down for the next scene.”
I could fall
down the stairs and make a huge crash and Mrs. C would yell, “Are you alright?”
“Yes, I’m fine, just a little
bruised, but I broke the coffee mug I was carrying.”
“Which one?”
“The ‘fifty and nifty’ cup.”
“Arrrrrrgh!! NO!! NOOO!!!”
“I can buy a new one.”
“Arrrrrrgh!! NO!! NOOO!!! They
don’t make them like that one anymore!”
It’s a
disease.
I have a lot of chochkelas (Yiddish for little decorative things) but I'd be willing to get rid of any or all of them, if necessary!!
ReplyDeleteI'm with Mrs C on the coffee mugs. Many of them these days are "one-offs" the only one in the store, the next shipment will be completely different. My favourite mug is now cracked alongside the handle yet I can't bear to throw it away because it is so pretty and I'll never find another one like it.
ReplyDeleteI keep boxes from appliances only long enough to be sure the appliance works as it should and doesn't need returning, then I'll put them in the recycle bin. The only other "useless" items I have stored are the Christmas tree and decorations, useless because there isn't anywhere here I can put the tree.
And I bet Mrs C knows exactly where everything is. Good on ya, Mrs C.
ReplyDeleteAs for coffee mugs... they certainly don't make them like they did years ago. New ones stain so easily whereas..... but you get my drift.
I think I have a bulimic hoarders instinct - I keep stuff and then get fed up with it and chuck it all away - except coffee mugs - coffee mugs are special ...
ReplyDeleteI love to throw everything away, but even I hold on to a box or receipt until I've used the thing I bought.
ReplyDeleteBwahahahahahahahaha. You have such an interesting life. Yes you do.
ReplyDeleteNo hording here. We can also get both our cars in the garage. That's where cars are supposed to be you know.
Have a fabulous day. ☺
Hubby and I have 30 coffee mugs. they take up a whole shelf, but we can't part with any of them even though we only use two at a time. They're old and well-made, so if I fell down the stairs with one, the only thing broken would be me!
ReplyDeleteWe are kind of hoarders, too, but only because the kids don't want our stuff and it's too good to throw away.
Have a great day, Cranky.
Pastor from a previous church we went to said in the 1950s/1960s average size houses were about 1000 square feet, one car garage. Now average size houses are 1500 to 2000 square feet, 2 car garages, shed maybe on property, and people have storage units. Stuff is nice to have, but not too much stuff. We take care of that by moving every few years to clear out the clutter :)
ReplyDeletebetty
The dad of a friend had something similar without the clutter....when we went through his tidy large garage we found each cabinet was stuffed with laundry soap, bath tissue, etc he'd bought from tv ads....there was enough detergent to last a large family a decade.
ReplyDeleteoh, too cute. :) i could almost see it.
ReplyDeleteHubby is definitely a hoarder. IT drives me nuts! I don't think I'll ever stop complaining about having too much junk in the house.
ReplyDeleteI love throwing things away but we continue to accumulate things at an alarming rate. Sometimes I feel like I'm choked with stuff and need to create space.
ReplyDeleteIt is. Just don't ask why my name is messymimi.
ReplyDeleteSometimes one just needs to move to a new house periodically to get rid of stuff. Moving is when you realize some things it is easier to give up than to carry. Cracked up at the coffee mug vs Cranky fall. At least she asked about your
ReplyDeletewelfare first.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I'm afraid to comment on this because you could have written this about me!
ReplyDeleteYou need to build her five or ten sheds to categorize her treasures.
ReplyDeleteI've moved too many times in my life to let stuff take over. Plus, I have no patience for knick knacks. I do have a coffee mug collection - mugs that mean something to me. Sounds like that's a common thing. :-)
ReplyDeleteI do admit that it's easy for stuff to multiply and you just need to declutter and dejunk every so often. And I do think that it's genetic - two siblings of my mother-in-law had it, and one of the kids is trying to fight this hoarding gene as best as she can.