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Sunday, October 11, 2015



It is time again for
Nothing stops these people!


This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.  As in previous weeks, There is no fake headline contest!

California wildfire evacuees return to looted homes – Another example of why people suck.

Lawsuit Claims Man’s Flatulence Prompted Firing* – Laid off for laying off.

French Ministry hosts dwarf fashion show – The show’s short intermission was really a short intermission.

Woman prepares for 5-year walking trip from Argentina to Alaska This is news?  Wait till she makes it, then it will be news…Hell, I’m preparing to play guitar at Carnegie Hall.

Virginia teacher put on leave for saying N-word during class – So if you are in high school and don’t know what the N-word is, don’t bother to ask your teacher what is the N-word because she is not allowed to tell you because to tell you she would actually have to say the N-word.  To me this story is really a B-word, D-word to H-word!

Florida Senate candidate sacrificed goat, drank blood – Oh Thank God he is not a Republican! He’s Libertarian and they’re not too happy with him either. (What is it about Florida Pixel?)

Billionaire CEO says he'll leave the country if Trump is elected – I voted for Bush because of all the a-holes who promised to leave if he won and they still stayed…I won’t be fooled again!

Harvard's prestigious debate team loses to NY inmates – Harvard team had no response to the NY Inmates assertion that “If you don’t shut the fuck up we will fuck you up!”

Saudi woman could face jail time for posting video of cheating husband – Apparently in Saudi Arabia it is OK to sexually abuse the maid…can a wife video the abuse?  Not so much.  More importantly, I would like to ask all our Republican Presidential candidates, “Can a man who sexually abuses the maid be President?”

Train to breathe like a pro athlete – So instead of going chugga chugga choo choo it will go huff huff puff puff?

Scientists unable to explain rock formation on Mars that appears to say “TRUMP”- Ok, that one is fake, but they are seeing everything else on this Planet.

Russian cruise missiles intended for targets in Syria hit Iran instead – Does anyone else hear Bob Uecker’s “Juusst a little outside” in their head?

*Thanks Frat brother Marty.

Come back next week for more:



  1. Please go back to putting in a fake one!!

  2. To go from Argentine to Alaska, do you have to pass through Florida too! :-)
    And then voting for Bush because of all the a-holes who promised to leave - that's how maverick I wished to be.

  3. I'm wondering if you will do a post on Clemson's Mexican food fiasco?

  4. Even funnier commentary on news items that should also be unbelievable, but unfortunately are not! LOL!

  5. I like that there isn't a fake one because it enables me to better enjoy your pithy comments without the distraction of trying to figure out the fake one.

  6. Stephen makes a good point. And you are quite pithy.

  7. I agree with fishducky...we want the contest back. It's easy to find a fake stupid headline: just make sure it's not from Florida, then pick it. ;-)

  8. I hope those NY inmates don't beat you to Carnegie Hall. I would think that their plan is probably longer than yours.