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Sunday, September 13, 2015

STUPID HEADLINES 091315


STUPID HEADLINES 091315

It’s back

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
I always just say Hecko

 This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.

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Man Accidentally Sends Naked Selfies to HR Manager After Receiving Job Offer – I’m pretty sure the correct protocol is to just say “Thank You.”

Man suffering from constipation for 10 years has 11-pound stool removed – Is that what they mean by “anal retentive?”


Brawl erupts at Walt Disney World – The slappiest place on earth!


The awkward truth about nude cruises – Apparently a room with a porthole does not mean what you think it means.


Study finds the Earth has 3 trillion trees – I demand a recount!


Pope speeds up, simplifies marriage annulment process – Church will now accept Master Charge and Visa cards.

Choir replaces Jesus with Hillary in gospel song – No disrespect, the group just needed a little less bass and a little more alto.

Stress at work is just as bad as secondhand smoke – My cubicle was next to hard workers, I think I suffer from secondhand stress.

Queen Elizabeth II becomes longest-reigning monarch in Britain's history – “Charles will be King when he pries the crown from my cold dead fingers.”

John Kasich says if he were 'King of America' he'd ban teachers' lounges – And which problem will that solve?

'Siri' interrupts White House press briefing, answers Iran question – “Recalculating!”

Identical twin sisters are married to identical twin brothers, all live in one house – And their children are cousins, identical cousins, and you’ll find; they laugh alike, they walk alike, sometimes they even talk alike, you could lose your mind, when cousins…*


*If you have “Are two of a kind” stuck in your head, you are over 60 years old.

14 comments:

  1. i actually have time to play today for a change! i'm just guessing, though, so i'll go with 'siri'. hecko and goodbye!

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  2. I think all of these are true.

    I linked you to Silly Sunday.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  3. Ha ha. I like the "cold dead fingers" one.
    Don't ever change.

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  4. I'm glad the Man Suffering from Constipation for 10 years story has a happy ending.
    I think the 3 Trillions trees story is true and the Democrat Party is signing them all up to vote for Hillary in 2016.

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  5. I would have guessed "Man suffering from constipation for 10 years has 11-pound stool removed" but then I realized that you/he are/is full of shit so I'm going for NONE OF THE ABOVE!!

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  6. That choir replacing Jesus with Hillary sounds bogus to me.

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  7. Yeah...I can't imagine Hillary in a gospel song, either.

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  8. Sadly, they all sound feasible to me though I may be a bit warped. Going with all are true

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  9. Heaven-o!
    I think it's Hillary!

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  10. At the risk of your trickery, perhaps listing all TRUE headlines...I will choose the Banned Teachers' Lounge guy as fake.

    Let the record show that I have not seen any teachers lounging since 1992. I think it has something to do with the smoke-free workplace reform. That, and all the busywork we have to do now in order to teach the kids less.

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  11. Holy Moly, even Val "I always read and follow directions" does not know that there are no fakes, and no contest!

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  12. "Brawl erupts at Walt Disney World"

    What...did they run out of those goofy little hats with the big Mickey ears? I imagine that would tick off all those kids that are always hanging around there.

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  13. Wonder what Mr. Canales says to all the patrons who come to his flea market? Or what he says when they say hello to him? Wouldn't it be fun to have a hello flash mob at his flea market?

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  14. Oddly, this time, most of the more bizarre ones are the ones I've actually seen (even the 'hello' guy); so I'm going with 'none of the above'.

    But hey. . . I'm only 59. . .

    ReplyDelete

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