STUPID HEADLINES 091315
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
|I always just say Hecko|
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
Man Accidentally Sends Naked Selfies to HR Manager After Receiving Job Offer – I’m pretty sure the correct protocol is to just say “Thank You.”
Man suffering from constipation for 10 years has 11-pound stool removed – Is that what they mean by “anal retentive?”
Brawl erupts at Walt Disney World – The slappiest place on earth!
The awkward truth about nude cruises – Apparently a room with a porthole does not mean what you think it means.
Study finds the Earth has 3 trillion trees – I demand a recount!
Pope speeds up, simplifies marriage annulment process – Church will now accept Master Charge and Visa cards.
Choir replaces Jesus with Hillary in gospel song – No disrespect, the group just needed a little less bass and a little more alto.
Stress at work is just as bad as secondhand smoke – My cubicle was next to hard workers, I think I suffer from secondhand stress.
Queen Elizabeth II becomes longest-reigning monarch in Britain's history – “Charles will be King when he pries the crown from my cold dead fingers.”
John Kasich says if he were 'King of America' he'd ban teachers' lounges – And which problem will that solve?
'Siri' interrupts White House press briefing, answers Iran question – “Recalculating!”
Identical twin sisters are married to identical twin brothers, all live in one house – And their children are cousins, identical cousins, and you’ll find; they laugh alike, they walk alike, sometimes they even talk alike, you could lose your mind, when cousins…*
*If you have “Are two of a kind” stuck in your head, you are over 60 years old.